From The Depths Of The Department Of “Duh!”

Boy, oh, boy, reading the news can destroy lickety-split any sense of confidence unintentional proximity to residual whiffs of Hopium might inspire.  Not that I’ve been so influenced, but I can certainly sympathize with the unfortunate souls who might have been unduly charmed by the relentless barrage of happy-hopeyness from the Changelings of Obamedia, only to have any semblence of Obamaptomism dashed by actually reading past the Headlines of Hype.  Take, for example, today’s Wall Street Journal piece by Fox Business News’ Stuart Varney, who seems bewildered, nay, dare I say it, shocked, that the recent reluctance of the Obministration to accept repayment of TARP funds by banksters not exactly in league with the Big Bank Mafia means that (horrors!) the ObaHoods want to control the banks!  Duh?!  I mean, really, Stu, I’m no London economist, and I saw that weeks ago!  Sheesh, you don’t need fancy degrees to tell you that if you want to control things, first ya gotta grab hold of the banks!  Like I said, duuuuuh!

Coupla days ago, Newsweek ran an article claiming that Obama’s telephone buddy, Warren Buffet was the real architect of certain aspects of the bailout, not his Doogie Howser-esque Boy Wonder, Turbo Tax Timmy Geithner, tax cheat (TTTG,tc).  Holy cannoli, Batman!  Who coulda figured that one out, huh?!  Double-dog duh-uh-uh-uh-uuuuhhhh!  In September, I wrote about Obama’ Bailout Buddies and, the second name mentioned besides Goldman Sachs’ own Treasury Secretary, and Obama telephone pal, Henry Paulson was, you guessed it, you super smart PUMAlicious devil, you, Warren Buffet.   Ta dahhhh!  Gee whiz, when even I can see this stuff, what’s taking the smartest guys in the media so long to see the handwriting on the mirror that’s right in front of the nose on their faces?  Riddle me that one, Batman, whydoncha?

What Dodd Did (And Probably Didn’t Do)

The whole “who put the “out” in the stimulus bill?” kerfluffle has had me flummoxed since it came to light.  Why all the confusion?  Either Christopher Dodd is a one-man crime spree, ( ‘cuz finagling with a bill after it’s been voted on should be a crime, if it isn’t) or he meddled with the wording during some crack in time before it was voted on, (in which case somebody should have noticed) or, he didn’t do nothing.  I vote for the last one.

Chris Dodd was not on the House Senate committee that changed the language of the executive compensation amendment to the stimulus bill.  I’ve posted the relevant portion of the February 8, 2009 version of the Senate bill here, and the final version here.  The segment containing the February 11, 2009 cutoff date affecting AIG’s retention bonuses is not in the Senate version; however, the bill does contain the Wyden-Snowe amendment calling for a 35% tax, and a provision that executives be paid no more than the president of the United States.   As near as I can tell, this is the bill that was voted on, and passed by the Senate, Tuesday, February 10, 2009.  In fact, in Dodd’s mea culpa, he refers to the “Senate approved” language.

Psssst! They’re All Lying!!!

When it comes to Barack’s Bailout Bonanza Brouhaha, everybody responsible for the current “outrage” about the debacle is lying their head off through their perfectly capped teeth.  Case in point, The Dodd Amendment supposedly “snuck” into the stimulus bill that allegedly restricted the bonuses to be paid executives employed by companies receiving government handouts.  First, the amendment was there, then it wasn’t.  Dodd said he didn’t change it, then he said he did. The exact sequence of events seems deliberately fuzzy.  What, exactly did Dodd do, and when did he do it?

By February 4, Obama had angrily shaken his finger at “shameful” Wall Street executive excess and had issued new rules regarding their future compensation that even he, via MSNBO, admitted were “symbolic.”

The limits would not apply retroactively to any bank that received money from the first half of the $700 bailout allocated by Congress. For example, the restriction would not apply to such firms as American International Group Inc., Bank of America Corp., and Citigroup Inc., that already have received such help.

But Obama touted the broad symbolism of his action.

February 10, the International Herald Tribune noted that the toothless language was all Geithner’s:

Not As Bad As Who Thinks?

President Black (Waffles) Obama made an astonishing statement during his “rah-rah the economy, ain’t I great?” speech to the Business Roundtable yesterday.  The man who warned that catastrophe was at the door just weeks ago, when he was trying to scare the country into letting him have his way with our money, suddenly sees the sunshine.  Saying that he was waaay too optimistic by nature to buy into any of his critics’ “Malthusian, woe, Chicken Little, the earth is falling” stuff, the President Known as Alfred E. Urkel made a whiplash-inducing turn from his earlier momentary stint as Nostradamus.  From the Associated Press:

“A smidgen of good news and suddenly everything is doing great. A little bit of bad news and ‘Ooohh, we’re down on the dumps,’” he said. “And I am obviously an object of this constantly varying assessment.”

Obama disagreed with the choices.

“I don’t think things are ever as good as they say, or ever as bad as they say,” he added. “Things two years ago were not as good as we thought because there were a lot of underlying weaknesses in the economy. They’re not as bad as we think they are now.”

He’s kidding, right?  This is the same guy who told a buncha House Democrats a month ago to pass his stimulus bill or else:

“If we do not move swiftly to sign the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act into law, an economy that is already in crisis will be faced with catastrophe,” Obama said.

So, I guess by his new logic, the “crisis” was really just a “situation” that might have blossomed into an “inconvenience” if Congress hadn’t hurried up and passed a 787 billion dollar bill that nobody was sure would work, and nobody had time to read, lickety split, just for the hell of it, I suppose.

Playing President

Barack Obama is a mild-mannered college professor playing at being a politician pretending to know what the hell he’s talking about when he reads other people’s ideas written up by the Cardboard Titty Groper from a TelePrompTer, or, Heaven forbid, note cards.  As such, he has yet to settle on a comfortable persona, or alter-ego, if you will.   Is he an affable, perpetual campaigner, selling “hopey change” to the hard of listening?  Is he a Dark Darth Vader of Doom with a “sky is falling” Chicken Little complex?  Could he be SuperO!, sent to us from a planet far, far, far away, in another galaxy, by a benevolent father determined to save our people as his meet their end?  Or, is he a stern, yet compassionate EveryDad, kindly dispensing “tough love” to his cherished, yet clueless adolescent children?  Whatever role he’s playing, he seems to have forgotten that in our system of government, he’s technically, no better than any other citizen.

“My fellow Americans.”

Most presidents use this phrase to address their fellow citizens, but, to the best of my knowledge, Barack Obama usually does not.  One suspects that the reason for this is that even he knows enough to realize that “My loyal subjects,” what he wants to call us, is inappropriate.  Therefore, he tends to call us the political equivalent of “you guys,” which is, “everybody,” as in, “Good evening, everybody,” or “Everybody be seated.”

Whatever.  The Obamessiah has donned just about all of his myriad personalities over the past few weeks since the inauguration; first as the Play President, getting his picture taken sitting behind his big, shiny new desk in his shirtsleeves, pretending to talk on the phone so it would look like he was actually doing Important Stuff.  When that proved to be insufficient to inspire the proper degree of deference and awe necessary to force Congress to do his bidding, he and his PuppetMasters decided it was time to dust off the Lovable Candidate suit, pack up the Traveling TelePrompTer and and hit the road giving away houses door to door like Oprah doing Ed McMahon.  When it looked like even that might not work, he commandeered the airwaves as Doctor Destructo, scaring the shit out of “his fellow Americans,” and other little children with his “catastrophic” proclamations portending imminent doom and devastation if he didn’t get his way with his stimulus plan, only to be met with the fate he said he was trying to avoid when he did.

Earlier today, Obantos channeled his inner Huxtable and scolded his headstrong older mayoral sons and daughters working in the family business, charged with dispensing their allowance to their younger siblings fairly.  Like Cliff to lovable screw-up Theo, Papa Prez laid down the law; “do it right, or answer to me.”  Like Theo, the kiddie mayors grabbed the cash, said, “uh-huh, luv ya, Pops,” and hit the door quick before he changed his mind and snatched it back in order to issue more conditions they fully plan to ignore.  Again, like Cliff, the Acting President smiled indulgently, knowing they’d be back for more as soon as they ran through what he’d given them, just as well as they knew he had held some back for just that purpose.

He has also, on occasion, been thrust into the role of hapless, bumbling Mr. Peepers does Dagwood, such as when his best laid cabinet plans gang aft aglaed.  Having three candidates for one position withdraw from consideration, as he has had with Secretary of Commerce (Pritzker, Richardson, and Gregg) could make anybody look stupid, even if his Secretary of Treasury wasn’t a tax cheat the world had no confidence in.   And, if he was the only one.

As he theorizes and strategizes hypothetical responses to focus group directives, marking time giving pep talks in front of crowds and television cameras, tap dancing as fast as he can in an attempt to divert attention from his un-preparedness and ineptitude, his Traveling Light and Magic Show still enjoys good ratings.  However, in spite of his uncanny quick-change talent and clever scriptwriters eerily in touch with their target audience through age, internet and Starbucks, he would do well to remember that there is not enough Mocha Choca Latte bars and customers to keep a bad show on the air once the novelty wears off for the fickle “fellow Americans” he serves.

Especially if they think it’s his fault they’re broke.

So, keep dancing, Mr. President, so far, your fancy footwork has been enough to dazzle the gullible with your particular brand of Obandini.  Tomorrow, a better show might come along.

Or, your fans’ real parents might make ‘em get a job.

Save Or Create Bamboozle

“We need to save or create 80 gazillion jobs…” ” This plan will save or create umpty million American jobs…”  The stimulus plan will “save or create about 3,5 million jobs…“  As the Smartest Black Guy Ever Elected President of the Greatest Young Nation in the World prepares to sign the Biggest Spending Bill in History that he hasn’t even read in Denver because it’s just so freakin’ cool to sign a really huge spending plan a month after you take office as the Greatest Black Guy on the Planet Ever to be Elected President of the Most Wonderfullest Post-Racial Country Ever Stolen from Indigenous People in the place where you were nominated after running a really cool Mac vs. PC- type ad campaign and only cheating a couple of times when it was really important, he keeps saying he’s going to “save or create” X number of jobs, and people just go “doo do dooo do doo, save or create, oh, yeah, dooo do dooo do…”

DON’T YOU SEE THEY THINK YOU ARE EITHER FUCKING NUTS, JUST LAZY, OR BRAIN DEAD, PEOPLE?

Sorry, but “save or create” frosts my cookies, and, if you knew me, you’d know my cookies are pretty well frosted most of the time, as it is.  But, that’s neither here nor there.  The point is, “save or create” is such obvious doublespeak, and it’s not even good doublespeak, so why do we, as a nation, as a people united in economic crisis, let it go?

When you say “save or create 3.5 million jobs,” all that means is that after whatever arbitrary time limit you impose, if at least 3.5 million people, out of the approximately 140 million currently employed , are still employed, you win.  You could lose every other job there ever was, or might, or could have been, if 3.5 million people are still employed at the end of say, 6 months, you’re a hero, in some alternate universe, warped perspective, shared national suck on Michael Phelps’ bong full of Alex Rodriguez steroids-enhanced KoolAid flavored hopium in the front seat of Chris Brown’s luxury rent-a-car kind of way.

So, while we celebrate the Spokesmodel-in-Chief’s historic victory of getting his record setting stimulus bill through a lopsided, blindfolded, Democratic  Congress, and signed into law exactly 4 weeks to the day he bored everybody silly on the steps of the nation’s capitol after stumbling through the Oath of Office the first time, let us all join hands across cyberspace in that purely symbolic Astroturfing way our Professor President so thoroughly embodies, to honor the achievement of convincing the vast majority of Americans that even if 99% of them lost their jobs, their Teflon TelePrompTer Reader Leader would still have delivered on his empty promise that they bought hook, line, and sinker, and sing in the words of that new Negro spiritual, “Keep Hopium Alive!  Keep Hopium Alive!  Thank God Almighty, Keep Hopium Alive!”

Dooo doo do dooo dooooooooo…

Or something like that.

Beware Obama Fatigue

Let’s face it, most PUMAs are sick to death of Barack Obama.  We recoil from the sight and sound of him stumbling through ghost-written, TelePrompTer read  speeches on our television screens, tens, that feel like thousands, of times a day, droning incessantly about something that only he can so successfully make seem like nothing.  And vice-versa.   However, where we once railed against the excessive exposure, shouting at our computers and TVs every time he, his name or likeness popped up in yet another puff or fluff piece of a sad excuse for a print “news” article or op-ed column, or tedious You Tube lecture, or “get your very own useless Obama trinket” commercial, we now just sigh.

We’re simply getting tired.

“Obama fatigue” was all the rage this summer after a Pew poll showed that Obaexposure had reached saturation point.  Coincidently, about a month  thereafter, the economy tanked, an event which diverted attention, and predictably, allowed the Obamachine to go into Obadrive with layers of Axelrod brand Astroturf and effectively counter all the prior negativity.  To allow this sort of signature combat maneuver to continue to go undefended is just as dangerous now as it ever was because it allows crappily written pump ‘n’ prop him up pieces of “ain’t he just the greatest thing since Mickey D’s” drivel to sneak into the public consciousness unchecked, except for rightwing Republican kneejerk “everything he does sucks” often baseless, yet predictable partisan responses, which can be easily refuted.  We PUMAs just cannot afford to be complacent without accepting at least some of the blame for his further chicanery and incompetence.

Frank Rich in the New York Times, and Pamela Gentry in the Huffington Post, both have “hush the Obama naysayers” pieces today touting the Nascent Neophyte’s “triumph” of getting the massive, unread “stimulus bill” through Congress that many economists claim won’t stimulate anything except the libidos of the crooks who porkified and passed it in the dark.  Though Rich’s piece is interminably longer than Gentry’s, both give literary raspberries to those critical of both the bill and the stumblebum method of passage.  According to these two, the mere fact that the bill was passed proves Obiteme is not only not incompetent, he’s shrewd, skillful and he’s smarter than everybody on the planet, to boot.

Of course, the fact that he still doesn’t have a Commerce or Health and Human Services Secretary, and his Treasury Secretary is a tax cheat nobody in the world has confidence in, is not mentioned by either opinionist.  Nor is the fact that Oblahblah and Associates have mounted a “lowered expectations” media campaign relative to his victorious, historic, stimulus bill, while ducking legitimate questions they don’t like.

And, just what is the great accomplishment of which they crow, anyway?  His attempt at bipartisanship was an utter failure, allowing Sen. John McCain, Sen. Lindsay Graham, and young Rep. Aaron Shock to access the airwaves all day Sunday trashing him and it, as John Boehner did on the floor of the House.  In fact, the net effect of the reality of Obama’s support for the bill is that more Democrats voted against it (7 in the House) than Republicans voted for it (3 in the Senate).

The main reason such cheerleading must be countered is that if it is not, the Obama “brand” becomes further entrenched in the American psyche without challenge, which is as fraught with danger as allowing Peanut Corp. to continue selling its products without reporting the salmonella outbreak.  If nobody raises a stink, people will keep right on buying Jiff because they like Mr. Peanut, regardless of the fact that he represents another company.

Kevin Price of BizPlusBlog, someone I know nothing about, underscores my point that the vast majority of Bicardi ‘n’ KoolAid drinkers know next to nothing about politics, and are those deliberately targeted by the Obama campaign, being overly susceptible to “branding.”  Price argues that Obamacamp’s manipulation of  the “gotta do someting, anything’s better than doing nothing, or we’re all gonna die”  or, “the ship is sinking, hurry up and jump aboard!” theme was directed at these folks:

There are two basic views of government. One sees the best government doing as little as possible and being focused on protecting individuals from other individuals and our country from foreign adversaries. The opposite extreme is that government should play a pervasive role in every aspect of our lives and that it should be the primary driver of our economy and society. The vast majority who have an opinion fall some where in between. Far more than those with an actual opinion have no real view at all. Those people are my concern here.

This uniformed majority are the same people who are driving Barack Obama’s extremely high approval ratings. They don’t really know what they are doing, or what they believe, they are merely very sincere. They think some action is, at least, action. But the actions of this administration will take generations to pay off and they promise to make things far worse than better.

Here’s the rub, most PUMAs are not political science majors, either.  We’re simply politically aware bullshit detectors.  The danger we face is that, like most fertilizers, the odor of Obandini can become tolerable with enough constant exposure.  That’s bad enough, but when the super slick fertilizer salesman touts the benefits of using his new chocolate flavored product on store bought vegetables, and even as an ice cream topping, some gullible folks can be persuaded to forget they’re swallowing bullshit whole.  Unfortunately for the rest of us, there are so many more of them.  And they’re more than willing to let the government promote the notion that fecalized fast food is nutritious and delicious while they sell it to us and our children by the pound.

We PUMAs just don’t have the luxury of Obama fatigue.

Weekend Odds ‘n’ Ends

President Black Obama is crowing like a bantam rooster about his shiny new stimulus bill, as if passing a anything with only 3 Republican votes necessary was as difficult as he and his media took such pains to make it seem.  I mean, really, if he couldn’t have gotten it done, that would be news.  Plus, it probably was not as hard as it might have been if he had actually let anybody read it first.

Anyway, looks like Rod Blagojevich hit his eventual appointee for Oboyi’mgreat’s vacant Senate seat, now Senator, Roland Burris up for cash before picking him.  However, it’s not clear if this really means anything since, as far as I know, Burris was never on the short list until after Blago was arrested, and by all accouts, Burris didn’t give him any money.  Seems Burris was concerned about appearances, given that he really wanted the appointment, even though Blags didn’t seem inclined to give it to him.  Burris wasn’t on U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald’s published radar, either.

MSNBC’s Chuck Todd was miffed at the Obamessiah earlier this week because of the way the Ofolks manage the press.  In a rather whiny First Read post, Todd gripes that being a “newbie,” he takes offense at being denied unfettered access to press conference attendees, something he sees as a First Amendment issue:

For instance, today, the president gave a speech in the East Room to the business council, an audience of dozens of CEOs and major business leaders in America. As per usual, we’re allowed to watch the event behind a ropeline. Ok, standard procedure for any event for any candidate, let alone a president. But unlike public events, here at the White House, when the event ends, we get no access to the audience unless the audience happens to amble up to the ropeline and chat with the press.

Today, it was so bad that we were kept behind closed doors so that these CEOs and other business leaders could leave without accidentally mingling with us poor press peons. Once the CEOs were clear and escorted downstairs, then we were let out of our East Room pen. And it’s not like we could rush over to the east side of the White House and find anyone left to interview about their role on this business council. By the time, a member of the press leaves out the one exit they can come in and out of, those guys and gals would be history. I’m sure most of them had cars at the ready to quickly get them to their next meeting.

Poor Chuck, he obviously didn’t get the Official ObamaRules handbook that spells out that only the appearance of transparency can be tolerated.  He also didn’t get the MSNBO Official ObamaRulebook spelling out that the Leg Tingler must never be criticized by any employee, something his commenters were quick to point out, calling him a “freakin’ crybaby,” and assuring him nobody gave a shit about his hurt feelings, which to them are no more important than that pesky First Amendment thingy when it comes to Obamaman.

Underscoring MSNBC readers’ sentiments, Politico reports that it matters not one little whit what the Great Obandini does, people who vote love his dirty drawers and can’t wait to suck down as much of his KoolAid flavored bathwater as he deigns to distribute.  In spite of all the documented Dagwood Bumstead-style bungles, stumbles, bumps and missteps of the neophyte Spokesmodel-In-Chief, his approval ratings are still off the charts.  Go figure.  Maybe they should poll the PUMAsphere, huh?

Meanwhile, in an underreported story from February 9, it seems Chicago school children are afraid to go to school for fear the teachers, not other students, will beat the crap out of them:

Hundreds of students have allegedly been beaten by teachers, coaches and staff at Chicago Public Schools. 2 Investigator Dave Savini continues his ongoing investigation involving the illegal use corporal punishment.

CBS2Chicago’s Savini reports finding an alarming number (eight hundred eighteen) of assaults against students, mostly going under-punished by authorities:

The 2 Investigators found reports of students beaten with broomsticks, whipped with belts, yard sticks, struck with staplers, choked, stomped on and pushed down stairs. One substitute teacher even fractured a student’s neck.

But even more alarming, in the vast majority of cases, teachers found guilty were only given a slap on the wrist.

This report comes on the heels of a February 4 report of the death of a 10 year old Evanston, Illinois student found hanging from a coat hook.  The death was ruled a suicide, a finding with which the family disagrees.

What else?  Oh, California’s broke, so they’re going to let all the prisoners go.  Wonder if Obie’s Big Give and that Big Bailout of Turbo Tax Timmy Geithner, tax cheat (TTTG,tc) will help Chicago’s children or the citizens of California sleep better at night?

Illinois State University wants to know if the bell tolls for Black History Month now that the president is black.  According to MSNBC, the jury’s still out on that one, which seems to tick this guy off.   The New York Times prints an opinion piece by Alaa Al Aswany who complains that though Egyptian Muslims have love for Obama, they’re not feeling the love back, while our friend Sugar sounds off about the beheading of an American Muslim woman in Buffalo, New York by her jilted husband.  Murphy cries for all of us about this and other things over at Puma Pac.

The peanut people still want you to feed their product to your kids even though they recalled peanut butter cookie dough from Austin, Texas schools today.  Good thing the good folks at the Associated Press provide us with this handy list.  Not sure if it matches this one, though.   Oh, and mark your calenders, Peanut Butter and Jelly Day’s a-comin’ March 4.

And, last, but not least, the Obama family clebrates Valentine’s Day in the Rezko-subsidized Hyde Park empty house the president dramatically told goodbye just a few weeks ago.  Must be cold sleeping on bare floors.  Leaving his family to brave the elements without furniture in a barren home, the Persnickety President visited his friend’s gym.  What’s up with that?

Anyway, that’s just a  taste of the juicy little tidbits I tend to pick up news surfing week to week.  So, for those of you with Valentines to share the day (and night) with, enjoy.  For those, like me, who will spend the day cursing the Fates and shooting daggers from our eyes at the lovestruck, between loud verbal declarations of the foolishness of voluntarily plunging oneself into the pitfalls of romance, have a Scotch on me.

Play it, Sam…

(slow and sexy)

…and, the wheels on the bus…

Obie’s Big Gamble

Now that President Black Obama’s huge “stimulus plan” down payment on the country’s economic recovery has cleared Congress without a vote to spare, it has become quite clear that the Republicans have set him up to sink or swim on his own.   If it works, he’a a hero, if not, well, they’re banking it won’t.  In the biggest “duh” moment ever, even Rahm Emanuel and Arlen Specter agree on that.  Maybe that’s the very definition of “bipartisanship,” even though they express it differently.

Rahmbo says Obama “lost control” of the debate by reaching across the aisle and getting his hand slapped silly:

White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel conceded President Barack Obama and his team lost control of the message for selling their massive stimulus bill last week, fixating on bipartisanship while Republicans were savaging the legislation.

Duh.

Of course trying to bully Republicans into accepting some of the blame for the potential failure without promising a share of the possible rewards in an attempt to make them look uncooperative was amateurish and a mistake.   Maybe that kind of obviously hollow gesture is what Obie had in mind when he talked about “transparency.”  Democrats didn’t need overwhelming support from the other side, it was stupid to waste time trying to play baby politics with the big boys.  The best move all along would have been for the Obacrats to be the Big Boyz on the Block, like they ended up doing.  They were always going to have to own the results, no matter what the Republicans say, that’s what it means to have a majority.  Unless Obie thought his Dem support was always shaky, there was no need to be overly conciliatory in the first place.

Arlen Specter, along with two other “centrist” Republicans, Susan Collins and Olympia Snowe, probably would have ended up voting for the bill, anyway.  Since Emanuel says Obie got “90 percent” of what he wanted, perhaps fewer  concessions could have been made to those three Senators without even giving up as much as they did.  In the political poker game the Republicans have to play with their crappy hand, backing off the pot and letting the Dems bluff each other out was the only play.  Specter said as much:

Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA), who broke with his party to support President Obama’s stimulus package last week, said before the final vote Friday that more of his colleagues would have joined were they not afraid of the political consequences.

edit

“I think there are a lot of people in the Republican caucus who are glad to see this action taken without their fingerprints, without their participation,” he said.

Double duh.

With Obama being so publicly rebuffed by the Republicans, and seeming to be at odds with factions of his own party at times, he has assured himself all the glory should their be any, while setting himself up as a solitary goat if there isn’t.  Had he concentrated more on partisanship, and promoting a united Democratic front, at least he could hide behind his team if his bill tanks.  Now, Pelosi, Reid and the gang have an out, and will hang him out to dry in a heartbeat, should the need arise.

Obama also faces virtually the same scenario going forward, making it clear that the stimulus is a first step of many he envisions as necessary.  Due to unveil a “foreclosure plan” next Wednesday, probably sooner than he’d like, given the big banks’ voluntary foreclosure moratorium in the wake of their public Congressional spanking, his staff is already putting out the “don’t expect miracles” vibe:

The White House cautioned Americans on Friday against having unreasonable expectations about President Barack Obama’s plan to stem home foreclosures, which he is due to unveil on Wednesday.

Lowered expectations for Obanomics might work for Obamaniacs here at home, but they suck globally, as Turbo Tax Timmy Geithner, tax cheat (TTTG,tc) is finding out at the “downbeat” G7 summit in Rome:

Geithner was set to discuss his vast US financial stabilization plan, which received a sceptical reaction in the United States and has prompted calls for more details.

“There is still some need for more elaboration” on the US financial plan, Canada’s Finance Minister Jim Flaherty told reporters in Rome as ministers gathered for the G7 opening dinner on Friday evening.

Obama’s reluctance to put himself forward as “Da Man” does nothing to mitigate against the fact that he is.  As president, he gets no cover.  If he is a right leaning Democrat, an undercover liberal, a Republican Trojan horse, or a Marxist/Socialist/Commie/Pinko, he’s soon going to have to strut his true colors boldly, with pride, whatever they are.  Otherwise, he will always be seen as a wishy-washy, wimpy wuss, no matter how his plans work out.

When you shoot craps, even with somebody else’s chips, it’s your ass on the line, win or lose, if you let it ride.

Done Deal

AP is reporting Obama’s stimulus plan that nobody had time to read is now a done deal.  Sherrrod Brown cast the sixtieth vote necessary:

The Democratic-controlled Congress has passed a $787 billion economic stimulus bill designed to attack the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, handing a victory to President Barack Obama.

Another AP article has a little more detail:

In a major victory for President Barack Obama, Democrats muscled a huge, $787 billion stimulus bill through Congress late Friday night in hopes of combating the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. Republican opposition was nearly unanimous.

The Senate approved the measure 60-38 with three GOP moderates providing crucial support. Hours earlier, the House vote was 246-183, with all Republicans opposed to the package of tax cuts and federal spending that Obama has made the centerpiece of his plan for economic recovery.

Despite Obama’s superfluous bipartisan outreach, the Democrats now own this Friday, the 13th bill.  Let’s see how it turns out.

Blago’s Baaaa-aaack

Rod Blagojevich, the unemployed former Illinois governor; is not exactly going quietly into that good night. I guess if you’re the guy who the United States Congress blackmailed the Illinois Senate into voting 59-0 to remove from office, or get zero stimulus bill dollars, you carry a grudge.  From CNN:

The $825 billion stimulus bill the Obama administration is trying to push through Congress would prevent any money given to the state of Illinois from being handled by the state’s impeached governor, Rod Blagojevich.

The 647-page bill bars Illinois agencies from receiving any money unless the Legislature directs how it will be spent, or until “Rod R. Blagojevich no longer holds the office of governor of the state of Illinois.” It does allow local governments to receive money directly from Washington or through the state, if state agencies follow an established formula.

With nothing to lose, Blago’s all in.  Politico reports that on a WLS-AM (the article says WSL, but this site of Chicago area radio stations shows no such call letters, while WLS is locally famous for talk radio) Blago was still swinging for the fences.  According to Blags, not only is the state full of crooks, they’re a bunch of  bungling, drunken philanderers on the taxpayers’ dime, too:

“This is how the system in Springfield works,” Blagojevich explained during an interview with the Chicago-area radio station WSL-AM. “A bunch of these lawmakers go down to Springfield, nobody even knows who they are, they’re away from their families. It’s a whole different world down there, a bunch of them are cheating on their spouses, a lot of them drink in excess, very few of them know what’s going on.”

While no names are given, Hot Rod does give an example of a wayward lovesick “lawmaker” with enough description provided to ensure that everybody on Blago’s old stomping grounds will either know exactly who he is, or think he’s talking about them:

“The wife found out and she wanted that secretary fired,” he said. “But this guy was in love with his secretary, so he goes to the legislative leader, they come to us, they want us to hire this woman so that we can keep that guy happy and, you know, then hope that they might work with us on some issues.”

Blagojevich also said they do the same stuff in Washington, too:

“It’s not just state government. I saw that as a congressman in Washington,” he said. “It’s part of the human dynamic and I don’t want to be too judgmental, but these same guys get up and they get holier-than-thou on their soapboxes and there they are doing that sort of thing, promoting that kind of thing.

“Yeah, people are human and they make mistakes, but cheating on your wife and sleeping with your secretary, that’s the wrong thing to do.”

It should be noted that fooling around on his wife is the one thing Blago hasn’t been accused of.

Yet.

But, if he keeps giving interviews like this, you can bet it’s coming.

Working Across The Aisle Is Overrated

Congress might be close to getting the new President Black Obama’s stimulus bill passed, but, it seems to me that under his leadership, they’ve gone about it the wrong way from the beginning with all this “reaching across the aisle” stuff.

My idea of good government does not include a single scenario of tuxedo clad dapper dudes courting designer draped twittering dames nibbling toothpicked cocktail wienies and other chi-chi-chic retro snacks over fru-fru umbrella drinks while their tinkling laughter competes with the tinkling strains of Muzaked versions of K-Tell’s Greatest Hits of Aging Rock Stars and Hair Bands until such time as all the Pretty People have filled out the thoughtfully provided Amway/Avon/Tupperware/Mary Kay/Girl Scout Cookie/High School Marching Band chocolate bar order sheets holding hands and humming “Kumbayah” on the way out.

If some sleazy snake oil salesman steps over my side of the line and tries to take my stuff, I want knock-down, drag-out, bare-knuckled, clenched fist, hair pulling, teeth bared, all-or-nothing fights to the finish over every nickle, dime and penny of taxpayer money anybody even thinks about spending for any reason.   And it doesn’t matter if said transgressor has a D, R, XYZ or symbol of the Artist Formerly Known as Prince after his or her name, get the hell back where you belong and maybe we can talk bout it.

Every time I hear some pencil pushing politician spout the new UniParty line, “the people want us to work together,” I wanna scream and punch a hole in my TV or computer screen.  “No we don’t, you shit, we want you to stick to your principles while you negotiate the best deal possible, not ask politely for crumbs only to slink back to your assigned seat on your side of the aisle and pout about how the other guys won’t play along.  And, if they don’t have enough players to mount a good defense, screw ‘em.  They knew the rules when they decided to play the game.  You don’t allow them to change them on every play in the interest of leveling the playing field without giving them an unfair advantage.

Barack Obama looks wishy-washy in his first few weeks as President because he always seems to use exactly the wrong tactics at precisely the wrong time.  Remember, bribing the superdelegates refs and getting the commission to apply “da roolz” to their advantage (RBC) worked for the Obama Boyz in the primaries and fudging them worked in the general election (public financing), but sooner or later, they’re going to have to learn that rivalries, groundrules and traditions exist for a reason.

You can’t have it both ways, Barack.  What was the point of all the sneaky, underhanded stunts you pulled against your own teammates to get the quarterback job, if all you’re gonna do is politely hand the ball over to the other team on every play and ask them nicely to help you carry it across the line?  And, why would you be surprised and start screaming, “foul!” when they turn around and run the other way?  You don’t break into their huddle to taunt them and then whine like a baby when they gang up on you and try to kick your ass.  Either stacking the deck in your favor by any means necessary is the way to get things done, or it isn’t.  And, if it’s not, you should forfeit.   Because that’s how you got the job you seem so hellbent on tanking now.

Democrats and Republicans working together to screw their constituents might work for the Illinois Combine, but in the big leagues, the only reason to work for a majority is to steamroll the other side into submission.

Seems to me a guy with an astronomical approval rating and a clear-cut agenda, who called the situation “dire” from the gate, could have breezed any deal he wanted through in record time, with a lot more than the 3 Republican votes he’s managed to rack up so far, if he had ditched the “bipartisan” trap.

And, if the “old Republican ways of the last eight years that got us into this mess” are so wrong, why do you want them in the deal, anyway?

It’s a 2-party system, Barack.

Act like a Democrat for once in your life.

Knock It Off, ‘Bots

After last night’s “rah-rah the country sucks” (sung to the tune of Obamaniac favorite, Ding, Dong the Witch is Dead) Cheerleader-In-Chief press conference, where we, as a nation, were told that “the economy stinks so bad we have to do something, so I’m telling you that Congress should hurry up and pass this bill we’re not sure is gonna work, but at least it’s something, just to piss you off, because, after all, you can’t vote on it,” a predictable pattern emerged, familiar to all those not hooked on hopium.  The ‘Bots came out.  At least, they tried to.

This always happens after the Crybaby Commander does something to piss off the part of the country that never gets polled.  First, he whines about “distractions,” then his Astroturfing ground crew finds somebody else to blame in lieu of, or in addition to, a media and Big Boy Blogger Bullies fueled “distraction” of their own, then, the blogger ‘Bots stick their toes in the “see, it’s not his fault water” of NoBamaLand.

Next, the Perpetual Campaigner takes his act on the road for a tryout before opening on television to certain rave media and Blogger Bully reviews, regardless of actual performance quality, which is always less than advertised.  Finally, the blogger ‘Bot bees are deployed to infest the domains of those critical, looking for fights by singing their Fearless Leader’s praises where they’re sure to be unappreciated.  Those of us on both sides of the aisle, with the clear vision afforded anyone free of stars in their eyes, are used to the harassment you could set your watch by, and are sick of it.

Therefore, I’m making a request on behalf of all NoBamaLand, be it the PUMAsphere or the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy: knock it off, ‘Bots.  Both of you.  Nobody’s listening, there aren’t very many of you left, and besides, wouldn’t your time be better spent stroking your own kind, if you can still find any?  They’re the ones so quickly becoming disillusioned that you can’t fill a decent propaganda campaign rally with them on short notice anymore; instead, being forced to open the rally gates to actual dissenters looking for real answers rather than your fellating fellow Obots swooning giddily over sound bites and photo-ops.  You guys can’t even marshal enough forces to make it look like your “house parties for change” represent a groundswell of support for your guy anymore.

And, really, haven’t you figured out by now that your pitiful “ain’t he great? Didn’t he read that TelePrompTer so well you could just die?  Aren’t your Obapanites wet?” schtick all over other people’s blogs is mainly programmed to go straight to the spam filter?  Only those sites paid for traffic still tolerate you, and that’s only because you make them money.  Nobody really pays any attention to you, though.  You never were scary, even when you ranted and raved so much a person could feel the spittle of the deranged flying out of your mouths onto their cheeks through cyberspace, now, you’d have to work really hard to even be mildly annoying.  Frankly, we’re all pretty tired of saying, “I told you so, you bore me, go to hell.”

The latest tact, “you better get on the unity unicorn now, or it’s going to be a long four years” is the stupidest deployment of the Rainbow Pony Ploy, yet.  It’s going to be a long four years, anyway, but it’s not going to be nearly as painful for us as it is for you.  We’ve always  known the crash and burn was coming; you not only keep pretending it’s not, you persist in acting like you really think the sun will come out tomorrow like Annie on acid.  But, this time, we know you know better.  Your numbers are already dwindling, your grumbling is getting louder, and your breaking little ‘Bot hearts are no longer really in it.

Sorry to break it down even further to you like this, but, ain’t no sunshine, rainbows or ponies in our collective future.  Things really are as bleak as they seem, and, as we’ve all told you a million times a day, every day for the last two years, your guy’s not going to be any more ready on Day 100, than he was on Day One.  So, leave us alone, or we won’t share our popcorn with you when you finally fully wake up.

Ohhhhh, NOW It Makes Sense!

Now that I’ve watched the latest edition of the new series,  “Dreams of My President: Live! On Location,” I have a much better understanding of his vision as it relates to remedying the nation’s ailing economy.  If I understand correctly, he wants to pump money into devastated communities like, Elkhart, Indiana, so they can get back to work making RV’s that violate his “green energy” standards unless they retool plants and make them more expensive with better batteries since nobody can afford to buy them now, anyway. If they build them, stingy banks will suddenly start loaning money to broke people so they can spend it on vacation vehicles.  That oughta fix everything.

Otherwise, we’re fucked.

Oh, and he wants the “bipartisan” participation of the guys who screwed everything up in the first place with their wrong ideology, and then left the putrid mess on his otherwise pristine desk to clean up on arrival.  (We’ll conveniently forget how he lobbied, twice, and voted for the Wall Street pay-off disguised as TARP as a Senator on the campaign trail.  Being a perpetually campaigning President is much harder and deserves some slack.)

I think that about covers it.

So, I don’t know bout you, but I was certainly reassured as I watched the Spokesmodel-in-Chief read familiar phrases from his TelePrompTer-To-Go that the rest of us know by heart before he opened the floor to pre-screened questions from previously selected suck-ups sympathetic patriotic hacks journalists reporters dedicated to bringing us the Astroturfed spin unvarnished truth, that I can now sleep peacefully, content in the knowledge that, with the young Ronald Reagan aging Urkel Haskell Obamessiah at the helm, the country is screwed nine ways to Sunday in AllState-like good hands.

Stimulus Bill Tanking Because Obama’s Not On TV Enough

Politico and MSNBC’s First Read agree, so it must be true; the reason the public is becoming increasingly disillusioned with the stimulus bill and the president pushing it is simply because he’s so shy and retiring that he’s reluctant to get the message out to the country directly.  As near as I can tell, they’re serious.  From Politico:

At this crucial juncture in the push to pass an economic recovery package, President Barack Obama finds himself in the most unlikely of places: He is losing the message war.

Despite Obama’s sky-high personal approval ratings, polls show support has declined for his stimulus bill since Republicans and their conservative talk-radio allies began railing against what they labeled as pork barrel spending within it.

Well, if it’s just a pushback against talk radio, the answer’s obvious, according to MSNBO; all the Teflon TelePrompTer Reader has to do is get back in campaign mode:

The president is ramping up the rhetoric as he tries to get back on offense to sell his economic stimulus plan. It started yesterday with two events, where for the first time in public he reminded folks who won the election, pointing to the scoreboard. And now he has an op-ed in the Washington Post. The op-ed’s message — not to the public, but rather to Washington (i.e. Congress and the media) — makes another case for passage of the plan. Of course, the irony of this ramping up is that it’s the Republicans who have come after this bill like a campaign, finding the negatives in the smallest of places and creating bumper-sticker attacks on them. The White House didn’t seem ready to deal with the small-ball campaign tactics, hoping they could stay at 30,000 feet when selling the stimulus. Well, think again.

Obama’s op-ed in MSNBO’s corporate partner, the Washington Post, (along with the New York Times, Newsweek, Slate, Newsvine, and the Root) is just another component of the typical Obama media assault now being reported by his footsoldiers as “news.”  They really think we’re stupid.  Daily briefings from White House Chief of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, to CNN’s Paul Begala and James Carville, and ABC’s George Stephanopolis help to facilitate the cover-all-bases “governing by media drive-by” Organizing for America “let’s send out blogosphere marching orders diguised as house party announcements” Axelrod Astroturfing You Tube approach.

Maybe Obama’s on TV waaaay too much to effectively do the job we’ve been saying all along that he’s unqualified for, ya think?

Gee, How’d I Miss This?

I guess there’s “pay-to-play” and then, there’s “pay-to-play.”  But in a CNN article from January 27, it was revealed that when the president and Congress does it, it’s not “pay-to-play.”

The $825 billion stimulus bill the Obama administration is trying to push through Congress would prevent any money given to the state of Illinois from being handled by the state’s impeached governor, Rod Blagojevich.

The 647-page bill bars Illinois agencies from receiving any money unless the Legislature directs how it will be spent, or until “Rod R. Blagojevich no longer holds the office of governor of the state of Illinois.” It does allow local governments to receive money directly from Washington or through the state, if state agencies follow an established formula.

So, no stimulus money for Illinois until “Rod R. Blagojevich no longer holds the office of governor of the state of Illinois.”?!?  They had to impeach him, or the state wouldn’t get paid?  No wonder the vote was 59-0!  Obviously, the governor’s seat is more fuckin’ golden than a vacant Senate one.

Aaaannnndddd, the wheels on the bus go “wheeeee!”

Trying To Follow The Money

Like a lot of bloggers, and everybody else on the planet, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the subtleties and nuances of the sledgehammer hitting us on the head that is our current global financial crisis.  What I’m finding out through countless hours of reading, mind-numbing video watching, and research is terrifying; not so much because evil entities are out to screw us all into the poor house, hell, we already knew that.  What’s enough to make you run screaming to the nearest asylum demanding the first place in line of their express self check-in, is the fact that the vast majority of the earth’s inhabitants, including those in charge, have no fucking idea what the hell they’re doing.  Don’t believe me?  Watch this:

Most of us believe that somehow the government with its Treasury Department and the Office of This and That, and Secretary of Such and Such, and the Federal Reserve Bank, and all the other robbers and crooks in the financial sector will ultimately work together to figure this thing out and save us from catastrophe somehow.  Nuh-uh.  Ain’t gonna happen.  These are the guys screwing us and each other every time we bend over to pick up the crumbs they scatter.  And they like it with no grease.

Earlier I theorized that the banking industry might have hand-picked Black Obama to do it’s bidding; in fact, given that they so heavily invested in his campaign and so many players in this whole mess are such prominent satellites in his orbit, one might even speculate that the bailed out banker boyz engineered his “historic” stage managed campaign and set off the money meltdown pyrotechnics on his behalf.  Run, go get my tinfoil hat!  They might be listening!

It’s hard not to feel a little crazy when you read newspaper article after newspaper article, blog after blog providing fact after fact that more than suggest that the suspicions you’ve held since the beginning about the strangely successful political career arc of a community organizer/school tacher cum president in six easy steps are tame.

Start with the obvious; who benefits?  Who would get the most out of a unified “bipartisan” presidency?  Where’d the money come from?  The millions a freshman senator from Chicago was able to raise after 2 years in office and a speech, where’d it come from?  Who would have that kind of money to invest, and would they throw it away on a sucker bet?  Hardly.  So, who would invest that kind of money, money that seemed to mysteriously generate itself just in the nick of time whenever it was needed?  Dazzlingly staggering amounts of money seeming to drop out the ass of a guy whose failure to get the city of Chicago to take asbestos out of a hellhole made him tuck tail and run out of town to try to learn how to get something done?  Could there be some sort of connection between those bailed out and those who we know propped the new president up?

In looking into the simple question, “who owns the Federal Reserve?” a lot of names came up of people affiliated with the Obama administration and campaign.  Coincidence?  Maybe, but, I’m not sure there’s that much coincidence in the world.  And given all the hide-in-plain-sight realities of the Fed’s interesting history and practices, conspiracy theories don’t seem quite so far-fetched.  That so many questionable situations would converge around one man at one point in time is astonishing, and bears investigation.  I suggest, as many of my commenters have, starting with Logistic Monster’s Fed page, there’s a lot of stuff there, not necessarily connected to Obama, but, conclusions are for each person to draw for themselves.  Another site provided by Daily Puma’s Alessandro Machi is worth a look.   I provided a few Fed related links in my earlier post, and would appreciate readers’ input after following them.  There’s something here, folks, and I’m not sure I can find it all by myself.   But questions about where Obamania came from, who’s behind the sudden orchestrated rise of an obscure politician, and what, if anything, it all has to do with how the world we live in turns out, shouldn’t be swept under the rug just because he’s president now.  We need to keep looking at all sides, everything we can get our hands on, pro and con, and figure out the truth.  If there is something there, letting bygones be bygones is what the culprits are betting on.  Hell, if it turns out just to be a tin foil hat party, so be it.  At least it’s not an Obama 2.0 stimulus house party scam sham.

And, just to give you an idea of what kind of juicy tidbits are floating around in cyberspace just ripe for the pickin’ after some good huntin’, here’s a nugget from an August 8, article about what Obama’s corporate backers might want in return.  All the usual suspects, JP Morgan Chase, USB AG, Google, etc., are there, but National Amusements?

What could a theatre chain want from a potential Obama administration that could inspire over $350,000 in donations? Don’t be misled. National Amusements has long been media mogul Sumner Redstone’s vehicle of choice when making campaign contributions. Through the company Redstone owns controlling interests CBS, Viacom (which owns MTV, BET), Paramount Pictures, and Dreamworks. Look for National Amusements to ask for looser regulations from the FCC regarding television ownership that prohibits cable television stations from also owning broadcast stations in the same market. Beyond the six figure donation, Redstone can donate “in-kind” with favorable press to the Obama campaign – look for the media maven to ride out his agenda to the fullest extent possible.

Huh.  Amazing what you can find on the internet nowadays, ain’t it?