Where’s Kanye West When You Need Him?

It seems like the sheer number of people who, like me, just can’t seem to wrap their heads around this Obama/Peace Prize thing, is starting to get under the formerly esteemed Nobel folks’ skin and majorly piss them off.   Duh.  And, they’re surprised because…?  The Associated Press is reporting that, in an “unprecedented move,” the jury what voted for to put the Pretendident in the company of greatness, is speaking out in justification of their mind-blowing decision.  And, in the real spirit of their phony “unprecedented” honesty, let me be the first to go on record as saying, methinks the Nobel Publisher’s Clearinghouse Peace Prize jury is full of shit:

To those who say a Nobel is too much too soon in Obama’s young presidency, “We simply disagree … He got the prize for what he has done,” committee chairman Thorbjorn Jagland told The Associated Press by telephone from Strasbourg, France, where he was attending meetings of the Council of Europe.

Jagland singled out Obama’s efforts to heal the divide between the West and the Muslim world and scale down a Bush-era proposal for an anti-missile shield in Europe.

“All these things have contributed to — I wouldn’t say a safer world — but a world with less tension,” he said.

Oh, wipe my ass and call me “Whitney,” why doncha, huh?  Gee whiz.  First of all, Obama may have received “the prize” of prizes for his platitudinous Cairo speech, among tedious others, but that’s not why he was nominated for it.  According to the Nobel folks’ website, the nomination had to come in February, after less than two months in office, about two months before his April-in-Prague call for nuclear weapons reduction, and almost exactly two months before his June Sermon on the Nile shoutout to the Muslim world.  So, what, these Nobel guys are prescient, too?  Or, did they get a timeline, or blueprint of his proposed agenda by carrier pigeon flown paper airplane the day after he and the Chief Justice channeled their inner Moe and Curly and flubbed, then dubbed his acceptance speech?

Muddied Waters

Where’s the outrage from the left?  Gays?  Women? Uninsured people?  That’s the question being asked by Barack’s Bewildered and everybody else nowadays.  That, and, “what the hell happened?”  The Sheeple are finally starting to “wake up and get it,” and they don’t like it.  Not one little bit.

Hahahahahahaha ha ha!!!!!

That’s what they get for electing a guy just because he’s brown.

The outrage is where it’s always been, right here in the PUMAsphere.  Yep, us angry old bitter knitters have been righteously indignant for so long it’s almost starting to get old.  The only thing that’s fresh is the wind-twisting of the Under The Bussers.”  Those finger-pointing, childish, raspberry blowing Nyah Nanna Na Na Crowd are now experiencing the difficulty of trying to navigate their own self constructed labyrinth in shoes on the other foot.  Now, the David Letterman jokes don’t seem as funny as they did when Bill Maher was telling them about Hillary Clinton.  Where were these people when Jon Favreau was groping Hillary Clinton’s cardboard tit?  Predictably defending Obie’s frat boy brain for just being a boy, that’s where.  Boys will be what they are, after all.  So, what’s the diff now that the “boy” has gray hair?

The Barackian?

No, it’s not “The Barackian.”  It’s worse.  Much, much worse.  See, a Chicago-based comic book company, Devil’s Due Publishing, is promoting 2 soon-to-be-released offerings featuring the Spokesmodel-in-Chief, Just Barely President Baracus Hubris Maximus (Hail Ceasar!) as a loin cloth wearing superhero, “Barack the Barbarian.”  Okay…stop laughing!  I mean it…this is serious, now.  Nooooo, I am not kidding, and it seems this is not a belated April Fool’s Day joke.  At least, not according to NBC New York,  the New York Post, Breitbart, the Chicago Tribune, and, Devil’s Due’s own website:

Thursday, 02 April 2009 It’s no joke! You may have read about it on Newsarama, MTV’s Splash Page Blog , and io9. DDP is here to tell you that it’s true. DDP is readying two new titles for June 2009 featuring U.S. President Barack Obama. Check ‘em out!

DRAFTED: 100 DAYS: (1-Shot 48 Page Special) Devil’s Due’s original Sci-Fi hit returns with this double-sized one-shot featuring the President who could have been.  Mark Powers offers a poignant look at a man the world never got to see achieve his true greatness when a race from beyond the stars drafted our planet into intergalactic war.  See how he struggles, just as every other man, woman and child on Earth does in this truly inspiring story.  As can be expected from Powers, there’s one other difference about our hero in this story in that due to an injury… he is MUTE.

Revenge Of The Maltese ObaDrama Could Happen To You

What’s the difference between American International Group (AIG) and any other garden variety extortionist?  Not much.  In fact, your average “gimme $1,000, or I tell your wife about the weekend with the monkey,” slimeball could take a lesson from these guys.  According to Bloomberg, not only is AIG resorting to “pony up, or else you’ll be sorry” threats to keep the government on the hook, they’re warning their marks to keep it on the downlow:

American International Group Inc. appealed for its fourth U.S. rescue by telling regulators the company’s collapse could cripple money-market funds, force European banks to raise capital, cause competing life insurers to fail and wipe out the taxpayers’ stake in the firm.

AIG needed immediate help from the Federal Reserve and Treasury to prevent a “catastrophic” collapse that would be worse for markets than the demise last year of Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., according to a 21-page draft AIG presentation dated Feb. 26, labeled as “strictly confidential” and circulated among federal and state regulators.

The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Boy, if us bitter knitting, gun and Bible-clinging, dried-up old Hillary supporting PUMAs didn’t have enough to worry about, what with cardboard titty groping frat boy speechwriters and their ilk lying in wait to pour hopeychangey-flavored KoolAid on Cheetos and force feed them to us while we die on the streets in front of our foreclosed homes, without healthcare, clutching our worthless retirement fund statements in our gnarly old liver-spotted crone hands, now, we have to worry about nearsighted, Viagra-juiced old geezers catting around spreading HIV like bees spread pollen, whenever they’re lucky enough to find our dusty homeplates among the wrinkles by Braille.  So says Reuters:

Doctors are failing to diagnose HIV in older patients, who are exposed to greater risk of infection as erectile dysfunction drugs extend their sex lives, a study published by the World Health Organization said on Tuesday.

The report in the WHO Bulletin found that increasing numbers of sexually active people aged 50 and upwards — who are more likely to risk unprotected sex than younger people — are contracting the AIDS virus.

Doogie Howser-aged doctors, whose natural reaction to the thought of their older patients getting it on is usually, “Ewwwwyowww!” are killing us by neglecting to even consider that people with graying pubes might be engaging in one of the few activities their expierence has finally allowed them to be good at while they can still physically enjoy it, thus exposing us to even greater risk:

And although many people are having sex into their twilight years, HIV is still rarely considered as a cause of illness in older individuals. “Screening is less common for older adults, who are assumed not to be at risk,” the study found.

“HIV prevalence and incidence in the over-50-year-olds seem surprisingly high and the risk factors are totally unexplored,” the authors from the WHO and Minnesota’s St. Olaf College said.

Since us old folks ourselves are less likely to consider ourselves at risk, we’re more likely to do it like rabbits with anything breathing whose nakedness doesn’t totally barf us out, without taking precautions.  Thus, we make up 11% of HIV cases in the US, and have only a 4 year life expectancy from the time of diagnosis.  Of course, women pay the highest price for our twilight sexual freedom, because, while erectile dysfunction drugs allow us to sufficiently “raise our partners’ dead,” (ahem) to performance levels, our thinning membranes make us even more susceptible to contracting the AIDs virus:

Older women appear to be at higher risk of contracting HIV if they have sex without a condom because of thinning with age of the vaginal mucous membrane, which gives natural lubrication.

We just can’t freaking win.  Fuck it, I’m moving to Detroit, investing in the stock market, and taking up knitting.   At least in the Motor City, you can get a house for $7,500, and the guy they tell me y’all like to call President says the stock market might come around early enough before checkout time for me to be able to pay at least some of my medical bills.  The knitting?  Hell, ya gotta do something while you wait.

Obama Speeches Like Sex

Is listening to Barack Obama read trite, repetitive speeches written by titty-groping frat boys from his ubiquitous Twin TelePrompTers a minimum of three times a day, like sex?  Apparently, Republican strategist Alex Castellanos thinks so, since that’s what he said:

I think, as a friend told me once, that — listening to Barack Obama give a speech is like sex. The worse there ever was, was excellent.

To be perfectly honest, I feel the same way.  Like bad sex, most of the time, the performance in no way lives up to the hype, there’s always the risk of dozing off in the middle of it, and I can’t wait to shower afterward.  On second thought, bad sex is better; it never lasts nearly as long as either good sex, or an Obama speech.

I feel for Mrs. Castellanos.

h/t: commenter Laree

The Great ZerO-Rator

The biggest myth to come out of the 2008 presidential campaign, besides Barack Obama himself, is that his bright, clean, “articulateness” makes him an O-rator Extraordinaire.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The man is so inept as a speaker that he has to take a TelePrompTer into the shower to read a Cardboard Titty Groper-written request in case he runs out of shampoo.  When off TelePrompTer, he bumbles, stumbles, mumbles, “ums,” “ahhhs,” and “ya knows” his way through incomprehensible moot points to their largely illogical conclusions.  Not only is he not even passable as a public speaker, he is a barely competent public reader.  His squinty-eyed, nose-in-the-air, head-swiveling is enough to give a person watching whiplash.  That such inadequate performances as are his stock-in-trade have become celebrated examples of oratorical superiority is more of a testament to the determined application of the “skill” of the pervasive, sycophantic, Axelrod-extorted, ego-stroked, so-called mainstream media and  blogosphere, recruited by the President’s Puppeteer to do his bidding, than to the “talent” of the Spokesmodel-in-Chief.  In other words, as a public speaker, Obama sucks.

Dean Barnett, writing for the Weekly Standard, got on to Obama’s “secret” lack of inherent verbal ability after witnessing  the Teflon TelePrompTer Reader performing in Virginia, sans crutch, in February of last year:

Shorn of his Teleprompter, we saw a different Obama. His delivery was halting and unsure. He looked down at his obviously copious notes every few seconds throughout the speech. Unlike the typical Obama oration where the words flow with unparalleled fluidity, he stumbled over his phrasing repeatedly.

Being Teflon, Obama’s inept speechifying wasn’t enough to cause even the conservative Barnett to overly critique his performance based on his all too obvious lack of speaking skills, it was the fact that when off-script, Obama reveals much more of his true personality than friend or foe would be comfortable with:

What makes Obama’s Jefferson-Jackson speech especially relevant is where he went when he went off script. The unifying Obama who has impressed so many people during this campaign season vanished, replaced by just another angry liberal railing against George W. Bush, Karl Rove, Exxon Mobil, and other long standing Democratic piñatas. The pressing question that Obama’s decidedly uninspiring Jefferson-Jackson oratory raises is which Obama is the real Obama–the one who read beautifully crafted words from a Teleprompter after his victory in Iowa, or the tediously angry liberal who improvised in Virginia?

With his Biden-esque tendency to gaffe (it’s a verb) about his Muslim faith in all 57 states, Knucklehead Smiff’s Shari Lewis (yeah, I know) realized the extent of the risk involved with continuing to allow his Frankenstienian creation  loose on the campaign trail TelePrompTer-less, so the Puppet Master took the unprecedented step of sending Marble Mouth’s best friend on the road with him.  From CNN, September, 2008:

It appears Barack Obama’s teleprompter is hitting the campaign trail.

The Democratic presidential nominee has never tried to hide the fact he delivers speeches off the device, though normally he doesn’t use one at standard campaign rallies and town hall events.

But the Illinois senator used a teleprompter at both his Colorado events Monday — making for a particularly peculiar scene in Pueblo, where the prompter was set up in the middle of what is normally a rodeo ring.

Now, according to the American Spectator, the Obamessiah’s performance was so lacking in his first press conference as president since the training wheels came off, even with his trusty prop, that Papa Smurf’n'Astroturf has patenalisticly provided his pride and joy with a podium mounted ‘PrompTer, so he’ll never have to speak alone:

To that end, he says, the White House is looking to install a small video or computer screen into the podium used by the president for press conferences and events in the White House. “It would make it easier for the comms guys to pass along information without being obvious about it,” says the adviser.

The screen would indicate whom to call on, seat placement for journalists, pass along notes or points to hit, and so forth, says the adviser.

Using a screen is nothing new for Obama; almost nothing he said in supposedly unscripted townhall events during the presidential campaign was unscripted, down to many of the questions and the answers to those questions. Teleprompter screens at the events scrolled not only his opening remarks, but also statistics and information he could use to answer questions.

The folks at SGW Teleprompter Solutions give many examples of services they offer, but, so far, no in-podium mounts.  I wonder how long it will take the Obamaster to get the hang of using his new toy, since he’s barely gotten the hang of using the old one in the five years he’s had to adapt to it.  Yep, according to this Chicago Magazine June, 2007 behind-the-scenes profile of Obuhbuh’s 2004 rock ‘em, sock ‘em reading debut at the Democratic National Convention, that was the first time he’d used one:

Obama, who prefers speaking extemporaneously, had no experience working with a teleprompter or addressing a group this loud and lively. Michael Sheehan, a Washington speech coach who advised Obama, says the prime-time convention speeches are “unexpectedly hard for several reasons: The noise is overwhelming, and on top of it, you’re speaking to three audiences at a time: the live audience; the big JumboTron in the convention hall; and to the TV cameras. It’s a juggling act.”

Obama struggled early on to master the mechanics of this new speaking environment. First, he had to train himself to read the words off the teleprompter screens without having it look or sound as if he were reading. He also had to adjust his speaking style. “There’s this impulse with these big, live speeches to orate as if you’re on a podium in the town square,” says Axelrod. “When you’re giving these speeches, you’re speaking not just to the crowd but primarily to a TV audience, and the microphone does all the work for you, so you don’t need to bellow.”

Good thing Big Daddy Axelrove was there to hold the handlebars as he took his maiden ride around the national political block, huh?  I guess when you’re the first black Charlie McCarthy in the White House, it must be a tremendous comfort to know that the Candice Bergen’s dad hand up your back is only a glance left, down, and to the right away.

Like a lot of folks, I’ve had fun skewering That One’s prompter dependence in the past, and look forward to many more happy blogging hours in the future.  ‘Til then, the wheels on the bus…

Obacrats Can’t Be This Stupid

Whoever thought maneuvering Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich into a position that allowed U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald to officially criminalize machine politics-as-usual for political advantage has got to be the biggest neophyte yahoo rube to come down the pike since…Barack Obama.  Let’s review.  Barack Obama, the only African American in the Senate for two years, mysteriously generates enough money and clout to mount a successful run for the presidency out of a political environment so corrupt that “Lincoln would roll over in his grave,” how?  By being an all-around, all-American, above-board, swell, good guy, of course.  Sure.

Surrounded by his personal band of proselytizing disciples; Rahmbo the Emanuel, Valerie Magdalene, King David of the Astroturf, Antonin of Houses, and Jon, the Groper of Graven Images, to name a few, the Obamessiah scampered above the sewer waters of Illinois corruption as if they were a North Side private gymnasium treadmill.  As a fisher of men, He was often unfortunately touched, but not tainted by, the activities of the unworthy among those He assembled and attempted to make pure, as has been dutifully chronicled by the mainstream media Keepers of the Holy Book of the Obamessiah.  However, Barack remains the Reformer, bathed in the Light.

Clean, bright and articulate by resume, the recent machinations by the Combine Machine of the Obacrats are threatening to reveal enough cracks in the Obamirror of Righteousness to expose His Holy Stupid-as-a-Stumpness in a nationally broadcast Naivete Scene.  Did it never occur to the No Drama Obama crew that manipulating a fellow player not of their clique into a corner carried risks?

When one of their number, Antonin of Houses, stumbled and fell by the wayside, the Obasciples simply stepped gingerly, single-file around him, leaving him where he lay, disavowing him three times as they boarded the Obabus he rolled under when they continued confidently on their preordained journey to the Promised Land.  The Obamessiah did not lay hands upon him, nor did He absolve him of his sin; He simply denied knowledge of him as He brushed His Holy shoulders and allowed Himself to be driven on.  This was a Holy boo-boo.

For Antonin of Houses had special knowledge of Valerie Magdalene and the Obamessiah, and Antonin was pisseth.

Fast forward to the twenty-first century post-election ensconcement of the Obamessiah as President-In-Training Wheels.  Having written and disseminated his own Holy backstory to the Chroniclers, and having consumed their regurgitated praise to his overfill, the Obamesiah, drunk with his own Obamessiah-ness by proxy, allowed Himself to believe He, Jr. Father, Knew Best.  Thus began the chess match, whereby playing unopposed, the Obamessiah cleverly checkmated Himownself.

Seeing a way to eliminate his only real threat to absolute power in His own backyard, Barack of Hyde Park decided to continue to attempt to appear to levitate above the machinations of His betrayed Obasciple of the Houses,  and the locust-and-honey-eating way clearer, the crude Rod the Blagojevich, while shining His Holy Light upon their common evangelical activities, forgetting He too, was bathed in His Own Light.  Thus, He Screweth Himself.

Okay, enough of the Obamessiah allegory; it’s not only making me nauseous, I’m not nearly as good at it as John, South of Melrose over on Liberal Rapture or Gerald Baker; plus I need to be free to call bullshit without all this pseudo-Christian baggage.  So, let’s get back to brass tacks, shall we?

The fact remains that Obama screwed the pooch when he tried to play innocent while pointing the finger at Blagojevich.  Everybody in Illinois knew Blags was under investigation, he even hinted at the worst kept secret in politics the day before he was arrested.  Everybody also knew that even with Rezko’s making like a canary, Fitzgerald didn’t have enough to indict.  He still doesn’t.  But when the president-elect bats his exaggeratedly wide-open eyes and tilts his head in your direction when somebody else calls you a crook, people sit up and take notice.

Obama and company knew that if they dangled the vacant Senate seat plum just right while they dropped unsubtle hints that Fitzgerald was sure to pick up, the investigation against Blags was sure to intensify.  However, methinks they underestimated the existing intensity of the ongoing investigation.  Thinking that the tentacles would subsequently stretch out in all directions, they never considered that they already did, that it wasn’t just one Blagojevich phone that was tapped, and that more of their pre-cleanup involvement was already caught on tape.

Now, the smartest president in the room and his gang have been interviewed in a pay-to-play scam and have proclaimed their innocence, just like Blagojevich, just like Bill Richardson.  Though Blago has been arrested, before his alleged crime could criminally implicate anybody else, he hasn’t been indicted, he was released on a paltry bond, and he remains free to exercise his duties as governor.  And, now that he has done just that, the Obacrats, who for their own nefarious reasons, swept Obama to power, are desperate to get Blags to nullify himself, since they know they have no legal, or moral, authority to do so.  They also know now that Blagojevich knows it, too; by making the appointment, the Obacrats are not only rendered impotent, they’ve handcuffed  and prevented themselves from exercising any power they might once have wielded.  For, even if they impeach Blago, or he now resigns, there’s nothing that would make Roland Burris’ appointment to the Senate retroactively invalid.  From Politico:

The Democrats’ preferred solution to the Burris problem is for the Illinois Legislature to impeach Blagojevich, paving the way for Democratic Lt. Gov. Pat Quinn to take his place and appoint someone other than Burris to Obama’s vacant seat. But even that could create a legal headache, legal observers say, since the Burris appointment would still be pending.

“Even if Blagojevich is impeached, that doesn’t undo all the actions he has taken as governor,” said Andrew Raucci, a former chief justice for the Illinois Court of Claims and now a Chicago-based attorney.

Democrats say that if Burris hasn’t been seated by the time Quinn takes over, he could name someone else to the seat by rescinding Burris’ certification papers.

Burris was having none of it. At a news conference at Chicago’s Midway Airport, the former Illinois attorney general testily said to reporters, “Why don’t you all understand that what has been done here is legal? I am the junior senator from Illinois, and I wish my colleagues in the press would recognize that. All the drama — I guess it keeps you all in a job.”

And, to make bad matters worse, not only is Burris adamant that he is the junior senator from Illinois no matter what ticky-tack maneuvers the Obacrats try to pull, the criminalization of day to day political manipulation makes every satellite in the Oba-universe vulnerable.  Just ask Bill Richardson.

The best laid plans of mice and men, gang aft aglae.

What Passes For Journalism

Just when you think a despicable display of sexist misogyny has unfortunately been relegated to the dustbins of recent history, along comes a sad excuse for “journalism-as-spin” that brings the whole sordid mess back to the fore.  In a silly-assed Washington Post rah-rah Obama piece, Eli Saslow “fluffs” Jon Favreau in an attempt to excuse his frat-boy behavior by talking up his dubious talent.  Yes, Favreau can lift inspirational passages from famous historical speeches and bracket them with trite advertising slogans and folksy parables as well as, or better than, most, but, is that really praise-worthy?  And, can any responsible adult be considered so if he promotes a “boys will be boys” excuse for the president-elect’s ventriloquist-by-proxy?  (Axelrod puts the ideas in Favreau’s head, then Jonny puts the words in Obie’s mouth.)

Three months ago, Favreau lived in a group house with six friends in Chicago, where he rarely shaved, never cooked and sometimes stayed up to play video games until early morning. Now, he has transformed into what one friend called a “Washington political force” — a minor celebrity with a down payment on a Dupont Circle condo, whose silly Facebook photos with a Hillary Rodham Clinton cutout created what passes for controversy in Obama’s so far drama-free transition.

There are just so many things wrong with that portion of a paragraph from Salow’s pitiful piece of pointless praise that one barely knows where to start.  “Obama’s so far drama-free transition?”  Is this guy kidding?  Did he just wake up from a self-induced coma, unburdened by the reality of Rezko, Blagojevich, Wright and Company Under The Bus tours?  And, what the hell does shaving have to do with “celebrity?”  Does “Favs” shave every day now?  Was he freshly shaven at the party?  Was the possibility that he was tonsorially irresponsible excuse, mitigate or explain his drunken, disrespectful pose with the image of the nation’s new Secretary of State?

I really don’t care what Hillary Clinton says about the incident, nor do I care for the “good ol’ boys” club mentality James Carville espouses that diminishes Favreau’s bad juvenile behavior.  He got busted being stupid, he should be fired.  Otherwise, he’ll never learn, and probably never grow up.  And maybe Saslow and Carville will learn that “silly” jokes about sexual harassment are just as funny as ones about lynching black people, dumb Polacks, backwoods hillbillies, penny-pinching Jews, and their mothers.

The Last Straw

For all those who say groping a cardboard cutout of the Secretary of State-designate is no big deal, consider this.  Women have put up with so much shit this election cycle that we’re just sick of it.  At least during the primaries and general election, a weak case could be made that what was at play was just warring camps using, and accusing each other of using,  the dirty tricks of racism vs. sexism to some misguided idea of political advantage, but at this point in the game, there’s just no excuse.  Favreau’s bad judgment, leading to his own bad luck, is that he got caught indulging in sexist behavior just for the fun of it.  Well, enough is enough.  This time, women should not “get over it.”  And, nobody should ask us to.

Screw James Carville, and the “just havin’ a little fun wit’ cardboard” excuse.  If the little word thief is so repentant and apologetic, why is the offensive photo still up on Favreau’s Facebook page?

Obama Double Talking Since Forever

“What about us?” ” We elected him!”  “Shut up, we don’t need you now!”

PUMA bloggers are having fun at the expense of the bewildered living another day in the life of the Barack Obama vs. his “base” non-drama drama.  Why the peace, love and internet “progressive/liberal/left” is in a snit defies logic.  Weren’t these guys listening during the primaries, caucuses and general election?  Or was the din in their echo chamber too loud?
Like Bible thumpers cherry picking passages, you could probably find Obama quotes to back up any position you want to take, if you Google long enough.  Far from being some crusading straight shooter, Obama has always been a clever double talker.  That is, when he’s on script, or in other words, reading or submitting ghost-written  speeches.  Off script, his words are often laughable, yet, equally adaptable, just much harder to decipher.  “Uh, ah, above my pay grade…” can mean anything you want it to.

However, when the cardboard titty groper is putting words in his mouth, Obama becomes a double talking linguistic maestro, using language to magically transport an easily transfixed listener/reader to the brink of logical thought, only to employ a deft “sleight of tongue/pen” that metaphorically yanks the rational rug deftly from beneath one’s feet.  Thus, true believing KoolAid drunks are left dazed and dazzled, while the mentally sober, upon noting the reaction of the bamboozled, are generally moved to hurl, immediately after muttering, “‘the fuck did he just say?”

“We are the ones we’ve been waiting for,” is just stupid. Where have “we” been while “we” were waiting?  And, how come “we” didn’t see “us?”   That’s just one example of the silly shit he spews regularly and gets a pass for.  “Save or create at least two and a half million jobs” is another doozy.  Pay no attention to the fact that he just said a couple million jobs were at risk, or that we’ve lost more jobs than that in the last year, just think about the good times.  “Now” is always “the time.”  That’s what makes it “now.”

The fact that Obama never says anything he can’t wiggle out of, usually in the same sentence, has been lost on his faithful since Day One.  He’s “always said” he was against “dumb wars” in the same speeches he was promoting other, presumably “smart” ones.  October, 2, 2002:

Good afternoon. Let me begin by saying that although this has been billed as an anti-war rally, I stand before you as someone who is not opposed to war in all circumstances. The Civil War was one of the bloodiest in history, and yet it was only through the crucible of the sword, the sacrifice of multitudes, that we could begin to perfect this union, and drive the scourge of slavery from our soil. I don’t oppose all wars.

He has “always said” he would “end the war” in Iraq as much, and as soon,  as he could, only to re-deploy troops to Afghanistan.  Only a braindead, pie-in-the-sky optimist could have ever taken anything he said as being “anti-war.”  And yet, though repeatedly warned, some people feel cheated.  Well, boo-hoo.

Obama even spelled out the kind of shape-shifting “commitments” he was likely to make to the goodfellas on Kos in 2005.  In a diary entry he submitted regarding his position on the John Roberts confirmation, Obama “wrote:”

Let me be clear: I am not arguing that the Democrats should trim their sails and be more “centrist.”  In fact, I think the whole “centrist” versus “liberal” labels that continue to characterize the debate within the Democratic Party misses the mark.  Too often, the “centrist” label seems to mean compromise for compromise sake, whereas on issues like health care, energy, education and tackling poverty, I don’t think Democrats have been bold enough.  But I do think that being bold involves more than just putting more money into existing programs and will instead require us to admit that some existing programs and policies don’t work very well.  And further, it will require us to innovate and experiment with whatever ideas hold promise (including market- or faith-based ideas that originate from Republicans).

Our goal should be to stick to our guns on those core values that make this country great, show a spirit of flexibility and sustained attention that can achieve those goals, and try to create the sort of serious, adult, consensus around our problems that can admit Democrats, Republicans and Independents of good will.  This is more than just a matter of “framing,” although clarity of language, thought, and heart are required.  It’s a matter of actually having faith in the American people’s ability to hear a real and authentic debate about the issues that matter.

The “Obama is a liberal” noise came primarily from Republicans, not Obama.  Anybody who heard/read anything different then, from what he’s doing/saying now, deserves whatever they get.

This Story Should Not Die

This is not just harmless, innocent, frat-boy immaturity on display.  This is highly offensive behavior, indicative of the complete lack of respect towards women we as a nation seem to be okay with.  And, I’m no raging feminist.  Not because I don’t think that women get a raw deal most of the time (the whole “we’re more likely to die at the hands of lovers and husbands, and get infected with HIV while in ‘monogamous‘ relationships” thing pisses me off, royally) it’s just that I’m not much of a “joiner.”  That’s why I had no problem whatsoever leaving the Democratic party when they pissed me off.  No Party Affiliation works fine for me.  I’ve never understood why you have to adopt an “-ism” and find a bunch of other people who agree with you before you could feel comfortable having an opinion.  If I think something sucks, I’ll say so, and I don’t care how many people form how many groups to “advance my position.”

That picture sucks.

Hillary Clinton is somebody’s mother, and old enough to be Favreau’s.  Would the defenders of this misogynistic display be comfortable substituting a cutout of their own mother with hers in that photo?

Mrs. Clinton is also a former First Lady, a United States Senator, and Secretary of State-designate.  She’s a lawyer, human rights advocate and dedicated public servant.  More importantly, she’s a human being and deserves respect, especially from snot-nosed, overpaid asswipes who make their living ripping off DisneyLand Hall of Presidents animatronics speeches and using them to help create the illusion of “Great Moments With Mr. Never Accomplished Much.”

Mr. Favreau should grow up.  By rights, he should do it on the ever-growing unemployment line, but, we all know he can’t be fired, to do so would render the TelePrompTer Messiah mute.  CNN’s Campbell Brown should also be fired, just for being an idiot.  While Brown gets that Favreau is an idiot, too, she has the nerve to take Senator Clinton to task for an equally idiotic statement made on Clinton’s behalf by an aide, Phillippe Reines, who himself deserves to be fired for his flippant, “too cutesy by half”

“Sen. Clinton is pleased to learn of Jon’s obvious interest in the State Department, and is currently reviewing his application”

remark.  Clinton hasn’t said anything, and I doubt if she personally authorized that particular statement.  It’s too obviously a “guy” response, in fact, it reads like a gay guy response.  It tries too hard to be dispassionately PC about something for which there is no political correctness, while simultaneously being dismissive of the potential for female outrage and supportive of the bad male behavior.  Not that there’s anything wrong with gay guys or the remarks they make, unless they’re stupid and being attributed to Senator Clinton, who is simply not stupid, nor a gay guy.  But why should we expect hacks like Brown to investigate, or try to verify the story and risk letting the facts stop her and the rest of today’s “journalists” from making shit up and blaming people for stupid stuff as they see fit?

Like I said, I’m not much of a “joiner,” so I’m not going to ask anybody to march, or protest, or do much of anything besides ask themselves a question.  Are you comfortable with what a picture of two young men pretending to force-feed a woman alcohol while they grope her private parts says about our society?  And does knowing the identity of the people in the photo make matters better, or worse?

Heeerrre’s Jonnnny!

This is Barack Obama’s ventriloquist speechwriter kickin’ back and chilling wit’ his homey after a long day of putting words in his boss’ mouth via TelePrompTer.  Favreau, recently announced to be Chief Official Thought Gatherer and “Um” Remover” for the new administration, was just hangin’ out, feeling up a cardboard cutout of the newly appointed Secretary of State; typical Saturday night wordsmith hijinks.  Too bad this photo appeared on his Facebook page long enough for Al Kamen of the Washington Post to get hold of it:

Question No. 58 in the transition team vetting document for the Obama White House asks that applicants: “Please provide the URL address of any websites that feature you in either a personal or professional capacity (e.g. Facebook, My Space, etc.)”

Question No. 63 asks that applicants “please provide any other information … that could … be a possible source of embarrassment to you, your family, or the President-Elect.”

For a while there this afternoon, President-elect Barack Obama’s immensely talented chief speechwriter, 27-year-old Jon Favreau, might have been pondering how to address that question.

That’s when some interesting photos of a recent party he attended — including one where he’s dancing with a life-sized cardboard cut-out of secretary of state-designate Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton, and another where he’s placed his hand on the cardboard former first lady’s chest while a friend is offering her lips a beer — popped up on Facebook for about two hours. The photos were quickly taken down — along with every other photo Favreau had of himself on the popular social networking site, save for one profile headshot.

Guess not everybody on the TelePrompter Prince’s staff hates Hillary.  At least Favreau didn’t call her a monster.

NOTE: I changed the title because PUMA Pac has the story up with the same title I had.

Mr. Obama’s Very Most Important Announcement

The New York Times Caucus blog is reporting that President-elect In Taining, Barack Obama made his very most important staff announcement today.  He’s making Jon Favreau, his speechwriter,  not the actor, move to the White House:

In his latest round of White House staff announcements, Mr. Obama said Wednesday that he was naming Jon Favreau as his director of speechwriting. Mr. Favreau, 27, has had a hand in practically every speech that the president-elect has delivered over the last four years, following Mr. Obama from his Senate office to the presidential campaign.

“Had a hand?”  Where?  Up his bu In his back?  Oh, the “TelePrompTer in the boudoir” jokes I could write!  But, alas, I’ll restrain myself (this time,) and just move the story along.  The Caucus gently tries to lay to rest the notion that the Really Wannabe President writes his own speeches:

While legend has it that Mr. Obama writes his own speeches longhand on a legal pad, a better historical account will show that he offers input and Mr. Favreau crafts them.

No, history will show that publications like the New York Times make stuff up to try to make Barack Obantos appear to be qualified.  Gotta try to justify those baseless endorsements somehow.  In other news, with food stamp use nearing a record-high, the Obamessiah and his family took the photo-opportunity to feed the hungry.

After holding his third press conference in as many days, President-elect Barack Obama, his wife, Michelle, and their two daughters volunteered at a South Side parish that operates a food bank every Wednesday.

No mention was made in the article of the congregants’ reaction when His Preciousness multiplied the loaves and fishes and changed the water to wine, however.  He did allow supplicants to “call me Barack” after they kissed his ring.

Lastly, but not leastly, the image above is the one that inspired Rev. Jeremiah (Uncle Wackadoodle) Wright’s “Audacity of Hope” sermon, that in turn inspired Barack Obama to write a book, which then inspired easily impressed voters to lose their minds and elect an inexperienced slacker guy who has been forced to admit to all those nervous about his “business as usual” appointments, that he is the change they’ve been waiting for, not the other way around.

“What we are going to do is combine experience with fresh thinking,” he said. “But understand where the vision for change comes from. First and foremost, it comes from me. That’s my job.”

Yeah, Obie, but how’re you gonna make ‘em listen?  Pout?  Tell Mommy?

That one might work.