No Strings Attached Means No Strings Attached

Watching CNN this morning and listening to talking head after talking head egging on commentator after commentator responding to outraged viewer after outraged viewer, I’m struck by the ease with which my fellow Americans can be manipulated into gleefully relinquishing their common sense.   Of course, this tsunami of indignation is just the latest episode of Barack’s Blameless Bailout Brouhaha, part whatever of the ongoing ObaDrama.

You see, first, the Candidate Once Known As Inevitable, in the immediate wake of the Lehman Brothers collapse that served as a catalyst to the current crisis, stood back and let his then-opponent commit to a position, only to assess, evaluate, formulate, mock and dismiss it, thereby gaining Sheeple points without actually countering, or even addressing it.  Once his then-opponent was on the ropes, The American Idol boldly, yet, appropriately shyly, stepped into the fray, marketing himself as the voice of reason, willing to listen and adjudicate between the warring factions negotiating the wisdom of propping up crippled companies on a government crutch.  While that maneuver gained the Chicago Calculator even more Sheeple points, public resistance to idea of pouring government money down incompetently run, failing companies’ drains, threatened to upset the Ocean Parter’s best laid plans.   The Preppie Prevaricator then, feigning reluctance, went before Congress to plead the case for the bankers, for the good of the people, introducing his now-famous, and oft-used, “crisis to a catastrophe” line.

The Sheeple went wild.  ObiWanNaBePresident had saved the day.  Of course, having been in daily contact with the architects of the frequently renamed “don’t call it a bailout, it’s a recovery plan, TARP rescue,” then- Treasury Secretary, Henry Paulson and his Boy Wonder, then-Chairman of the New York Federal Reserve and Obama’s mama’s boss’ kid, Turbo Tax Timmy Geithner, tax cheat, (TTTG,tc) the Obamessiah knew full well that the “bank bailout” would be divided between the two banksters and would soon stretch to include the world’s biggest government owned insurance company, too.

At that point, however, the Sheeple of Obotia were sufficiently ecstatic in their delusion to complete their assigned task of propelling the Naked Emperor into the Oval Office, while brooking no argument from society’s rational faction.   Thus, the two colluding banksters were free to arbitrarily distribute massive amounts of cash to whichever of their fellow partners in crime they saw fit, no strings attached, until they were, and then, only after.  Since even basement dwelling KoolAid swillers, dreaming of free houses and ponies, know that no strings attached means no strings attached, the Lying Lord had to tap dance pretty fast and smile a lot on vacation to pull it off.  But, like a used condom, pull it off he did.

Now here we are, many moons and bailout bucks later, and the strings that the Most Brilliant Money Men Ever to Grace the Planet with Their Awesome Presence and the Man Who Would Be God If The Job Wasn’t Taken “forgot” to attach are coming back to bite the Dillinger Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight in the ass, the Sheeple, once willingly convinced that the fault for the forgotten strings lies with the previous administration, are beginning to awaken from their self-induced stupor and look for someone to blame.  Oh, and, as we all know, this will never do.

But, the President Too Slick For His Own Good, riding a mini-wave of whispered optimism-driven Dow Jones euphoria and sanctioned and plotted blame shifting finger pointing, mistakenly believed that the misdirection would hold.  So, he dispatched his Merry Men to shore up his depleting personal Sheeple point coffers by whispering to the drumbeaters that the Evil Money Changers were abusing the system by keeping some of the crumbs from the loaded plate the Obabanksters had provided them from the table of the bountiful bailout for themselves.  The thinking being that the predictable public outrage would be directed at the greedy incompetent bankers who aren’t bankers, but insurance company employees, and only them.

Funny thing about scapegoats, though.  Seems they don’t much like being scapegoats, and, with nothing to lose, seem to see nothing wrong  with trying to buck a freeloading rider off their backs.  Thus, the Bailed Out Boys just said “no.”  After all, they were given the money, no strings attached, and if the Spokesmodel-in-Chief and his Keystone Kops want to attach a few now, they run the very real risk of being forced to answer to the rapidly awakening Sheeple of Obotia about why their interests weren’t protected in the first place.

Being broke will make you wanna know if you’re being gamed.

After all, it’s not like this just came up, they’ve been under scrutiny for a long time, and, they did make an effort.  Contracts or no contracts, there’s mileage to be had from public spankings over what amounts to pennies.

For some people, though, that’s not enough.

For others, it’s a photo op.