Axelrod, Jarrett Subpoenaed?

Nope.  Though some folks would have you believe that, President Black Obama’s closest aides were not subpoenaed; the Cabbage Patch Weeble, impeached Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich’s records regarding any conversations, papers, etc., he had concerning the Dynamic Duo were, on December 8.  The next day, Blags was arrested, according to the media for trying to sell the only clean politician in Illinois state’s history’s curiously vacated Senate seat, the one that home girl Valerie Jarrett didn’t want, anyway, no matter what newly appointed White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel said.  Then, Pope President  proclaimed Blagojevich guilty and his buddies not, and passed sentence that Hot Rod should save the state time and money and take the “Frankie Five Angels” option and kill himself, politically speaking, and resign.  Blago said, “Fuck you, and the unicorn you rode in on, Bozo Bitch.”  Blaggy probably took that position because, even though a lot of his troubles arise from his relationship with Antonin Rezko, the slumlord never helped him buy a house or housing project.

Back to the subpoenas.  U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald, who first pronounced judgment on Blagojevich in the press conference announcing his arrest, by matter-of-factly stating that he had Blags arrested to stop a criminal from committing worse crimes, obviously didn’t have enough to indict the obviously guilty Cabbage Patch Weeble, because he didn’t.  He issued a 78 page complaint, arrested the guy, let him go on paltry bail, then asked for a 90 day extension to make his case, even with all the subpoenas,  wiretapped conversations and new witnesses.  However, once St. Pat got the hot little Axelfuck/Slumlady docs in his hand, and listened to the tapes, he hauled Jarrett, her buddy Rahm Emanuel, and her boss, Mr. Clean in for questioning, even though His Holiness had by now, officially cleared himself and annointed his staff with holy water.

By this point, the Axelrove Astroturfing was in full swing, with the press not only convicting Blago, but aiding and abetting the Illinois Congress in trying to kick him out of office on any number of grounds, most notably his demonstrable madness, caused by his Bob Big Boy hair growing inward as thickly as it does outwardly.  Cabbage Patch said, “Suck my nuts, you ninnies, I ain’t going nowhere,” and appointed Roland Burris to Obuhbuh’s curiously vacated Senate seat to prove it.  Once the Astroturf Army picked their jaws up off the floor, they used them to flap incessantly that Blag’s “audacity” proved his insanity as surely as Obuyme’s proved his divinity.  It was on.

Since then, Blagojevich has prevailed, primarily because the political machinations of the media-enabled U.S. show government had no legal authority that would trump a sitting governor, so, we now move to the next phase, where the media-enabled political machinations of the Illinois show government rule.  While CPW (Cabbage Patch Weeble) mounts his own media blitz protesting his kangaroo court “hanging” (he couldn’t use “lynching“, he’s white) the pissed off pols in the Land of Lincoln gleefully admit that they have the power to remove him from office based on unproven allegations against him  because they’re not a court of law, but a Clinton impeachment-inspired political process (kangaroo court.)

But lawmakers quickly defended the process of a Democratic legislature ousting a two-term Democratic governor, noting Blagojevich’s complaints were an attempt to confuse the public by injecting criminal trial rights into an impeachment process that is purely political.

All the while, the ‘Turfers “report” the “important” facts against CPW, like the fact that his protestations “prove” his desperation, implying guilt, even though, any fool could see that anyone similarly ostracized and castigated, guilty or innocent, would likely run screaming, “Hey, listen to my side, you sanctimonious pricks!” to anybody who would listen.  It’s not like lynch mobs are always right:

While Illinois history provides little guide to a Senate trial and conviction of a governor, the last impeachment in the nation’s history—the 1988 conviction and removal of controversial Arizona Gov. Evan Mecham—illustrates some things that could happen.

Mecham unsuccessfully fought to delay his impeachment trial until after his federal trial on corruption charges. Though he was removed from office, the Arizona Senate failed to muster the votes necessary to give Mecham the political death penalty and Mecham, who was acquitted of the corruption counts, lost races for governor in 1990 and U.S. senator two years later.

*UPDATE: According to the Chicago Tribune, Blagojevich had some intriguing things to say in his 2-part NBC interview with Amy Robach.  While most news outlets are focusing on Blago’s statements regarding his reflections upon Ghandi, Dr. King, and Mandela, it seems the transcript reveals he made other statements worthy of note:

Maintaining his innocence in his interview with NBC, portions of which were aired Sunday and others to be aired Monday, Blagojevich said that upon his Dec. 9 arrest at his Northwest Side home, “I thought about Mandela, Dr. King, Gandhi and trying to put some perspective in all of this.”

At the same time, Blagojevich said “some national figures like Harry Reid,” the U.S. Senate majority leader from Nevada, “are frankly covering their own backside” by asking him to step down because of their discussions with him over the Senate seat vacated by President Barack Obama. Blagojevich is accused of trying to peddle the seat for an Obama administration post, a high-paying job or other favors.

“And for me to just quit because some cackling politicians want to get me out of the way because there’s a whole bunch of things they don’t want known about them and conversations they may have had with me ….. would be to disgrace my children when I know I’ve done nothing wrong,” Blagojevich said in a transcript of the interview.

UPDATE II: John Kass of the Chicago Tribune has more here about the real reason for Blago’s lawyer, Ed Genson’s bailing out, among other things.