Anonymous Companies, Mysterious Imams and Mythical Audio Tapes

African Press International, according to African Press International, has received $500,000 dollars (US) from an anonymous American company grateful for their (API’s) efforts to bring the audio tapes they possess of Michelle Obama going off about her husband being adopted, but still eligible to be president, that have not yet been aired, but assuredly will be, though discussed no further, so don’t ask again; and if that’s not enough, they have confirmation that a Mombasa Imam who has knowledge of Barack Obama’s Kenyan birth, as well as possession of his stolen, official Kenyan birth certificate, has left Kenya and will soon be safe in the U.K.:

The Imam who came forward to assist in the search�of Barack Obama’s identity left Kenya secretly last night, and will arrive in the UK this morning. He will meet with a US contact person who will assist him in recording an asylum statement in the UK after handing over the documents that caused the blessing of Obama when he was born and to confirm�the origin of the name Hussein.

The man will join relatives in the UK because his life will be in danger if he were to return to Kenya after removing the documents from the Mosque’s archives and taking them out of the country. The man has been informed about the on-going case filed in� the US Supreme Court by attorney Philip Berg challenging Barack Obama’s citizenship.

When the man heard that Jerome Corsi was in Kenya a few months ago, he took a decision to try and meet him, but had to travel back to Mombasa from Nairobi on hearing that Corsi had been bundled and taken to the airport on deportation orders.

The Imam is the grandson of the late Imam who blessed Barack Obama when he was born in Mombasa on the 4th of august 1961.

While in the UK, the Imam and the American contact person will visit Amnesty International before handing himself over�to the authorities where he will formally deliver his application for asylum. The contact man has arranged so that they get an official from Amnesty international to accompany them to the home office desk where he will inform them on he dangers that will face him if he were to return to Kenya after delivering the documents on Obama.

This may now bring to close the speculations on Obama’s citizenship and the secrecy on where he was born.

API will dispatch a detailed letter in support of the Imam’s -�application for asylum�and protection� – to the UK Home Office Secretary later today. The letter will be made available on the site here, but minus the names of the Imam.

Whew!  Just when you thought it was safe to…I don’t know, ignore the madness? go back to reality? trust human nature? something this deliciously juicy comes down the pike.  I mean, how can you not enjoy the sheer spectacle (balls) of such an operation?  Who cares what the motive is?  What difference does the outcome make?  This is James Bond meets Shaft In Africa plus Jimmy Stewart’s big white rabbit, Harvey, all rolled into one!  Wow!  Popcorn is not enough for this one, I need Jujubees…and a big, fat Hershey bar…oh, and a Slurpee…and maybe, a hot dog…no, pizza, yeah, that’s it.  And a Taffy Apple…ooooh, gotta have some Jr. Mints…this is gonna be good!

Why God Invented Old People

You know, God, or whatever you call that Holy Being you worship, dismiss, believe or don’t believe in, the One that most of us normal people pray to and ask for stuff, and recognize as Divine, you freakin’ heathen, is one smart Higher Power.  I mean, Whoever came up with the system of people making new people and then living long enough to tell those new people “I told you so,” was clearly on to something.  That’s the meaning of life, or, at least, the fun of it.   Just as we allow our children to stumble and fall as they learn to auto-navigate on the planet, only to pick them up and comfort them as we stifle our sadistic laughter at their misfortune, opportunities increase, rather than diminish as we age to make fun of young people.

Yes, it is painful to watch younger people suffer, to lose their innocent optimism, but one of the most valuable things we learn in life is that suffering from your own foolish mistakes is the only real way to make a lesson stick.  Good advice is just too easy to ignore.  Besides, we’re all high-school minded at heart, now that we’re the upperclassmen in life, it’s just plain fun to sell freshmen non-existent elevator tickets, just because you know some of them are stupid enough to buy them.

While good-natured ribbing of your children’s missteps is part of parenting, personal or cosmic, witnessing those children’s exploitation by nefarious forces is hard to handle.  You warn them, you counsel them, when possible you isolate your kids from those nogoodniks, and if you can, you take those scam artists aside and threaten to beat the crap out of them if they don’t leave your child the hell alone.  However, the wrinkle in God’s plan is that where we were once 20, 25, 30 times older than those we are charged to love, nurture and protect, we are now simply 20, 25, or 30 years older than they are, and no longer allowed to nurture and protect, only to love them.  Therefore, when we see them about to stumble and fall, all too often we are consigned to stand idly by and watch the impending horror unfold.  Only when we assess the damage and are assured only their pride is damaged and self-confidence shaken, are we allowed to laugh.  But we must never knock them down for their own good.

Which brings me to this year’s election. Those of us too old for the “new Democratic coalition” who were so unceremoniously brushed aside, dismissed and diminished, tried to warn those “hopey-changey” KoolAid-cooled, hopium-bong smoking, snot-nosed dependents that they were being played by a “system” just as corrupt and inept as the one they were so desperately trying to replace, only their front man was an incompetent sham, hired not to be a president, but to play one on TV.  Straight from Central Casting, primped, permed and primed for the part, then scripted, produced and marketed by experts, their leading man might as well have been a Hula Hoop, Beanie Baby or Xbox 360 for all the substance he offered.   Was it obvious?  Of course.

IMAGINE the following scenario: A handsome, charismatic minority candidate defeats a heavily favored Democratic insider for the presidential nomination in an acrimonious race that drags out all the way to the convention. He then finds himself running in the general election against an aging, moderate Republican senator frequently at odds with his own party.

The current presidential race? Maybe, but it’s also the plot of the final season of The West Wing, which aired in 2005 and 2006. The similarities are not entirely coincidental.

Barack Obama’s chief strategist, legendary political consultant David Axelrod, was fresh off Obama’s successful Senate race when Eli Attie, a former speechwriter to Al Gore who was writing for The West Wing, had several conversations with him. Attie says he drew considerable inspiration from Axelrod’s impressions of Obama when conjuring Hispanic congressman Matt Santos, the successful dark-horse candidate on the show. Earlier this year, the web magazine Slate even edited the speeches of Obama and Santos together into an almost indistinguishable whole.

That was from a National Review article dated Nov 3.  This one, dated Feb. 21, ran in the GuardianUK:

Devotees of the West Wing have been talking about it for weeks: the uncanny similarity between the fictional presidential contest that dominated the final seasons of the acclaimed TV show and the real-life drama of this year’s election.

Both the real and imagined campaigns have centred on a young, charismatic candidate from an ethnic minority, daring to take on an establishment workhorse with a promise to transcend race and heal America’s partisan divide.

But there’s a twist.

For what those West Wing fans stunned by the similarity between the fictitious Matthew Santos and the real-life Barack Obama have not known is that the resemblance is no coincidence. When the West Wing scriptwriters first devised their fictitious presidential candidate in the late summer of 2004, they modelled him in part on a young Illinois politician – not yet even a US senator – by the name of Barack Obama.

Did these brazenly targeted, easily influenced, young voters deliver for Barack Obama?  Many sources, like this one, say yes.  However, AARP begs to differ:

Over 25 million 50+ Americans voted for Obama compared to fewer than 14.5 million 18-29 year olds, 12 million 30-39 year olds, and 13 million 40-49 year olds.

So, while God invented old people to watch over and protect the young, when you consider that there’s no fool like an old fool, the kids are on their own.  Maybe we’re not living West Wing after all; maybe it’s Star Trek.

And remember, he who laughs last didn’t get it the first time.

*UPDATE:  Commenter “gmanedit” points us to this New York Times article that says that voters over 60 rejected Obama.  Maybe God’s appointed protectors didn’t completely fall down on the job, after all.

African Press International Just Won’t Quit

After refraining from commentary about the mischief-making Kenyan-in-Norway, “Chief Editor” Sammy Korir’s African Press International and it’s wickedly outlandish claims of possessing audio tapes of a scandalous Michelle Obama telephone call for a few days, I decided to check in and see what was going on.  Well, honey, let me tell you, a whole helluva lot seems to be happening with ol’ Sammy and Co.  Looks like November 7, was a particularly busy day, what with API’s call for a national protest march against Barack Obama’s right to take office due to questions of eligibility.  See, according to API, M. O. let it slip in her telephone call that Barack Obama was adopted by his stepfather, but that shouldn’t disqualify him from being president.  Okay, stay with me now.  Now that API has not released the tapes of this alleged phone call, and FOX News’ Greta Van Susteren has flat-out called API-generated rumors of a deal between them to air the tapes to be a bald-faced lie, and websites like Mountain Sage have exposed Mr. Korir’s rather colorful past flights of fancy, API is, rather than backing away from these imaginative claims, weaving them all together.  In other words, we must protest Obama’s election because we haven’t seen his true birth certificate and we know he was adopted because Michelle Obama said so on the mythical tapes.  Get it?

Also on the 7th, API says the tape thing is not a dead issue, by a long shot; according to them, they will be aired.  When, where, how; who knows?  They’ll get back to us on that, they say.  Later, that same day, or earlier, who the hell knows? API claimed that a Mombasa Imam would release Obama’s Kenyan birth certificate…soon:

We have stated earlier that Barack Obama was born in Mombasa, Kenya.

A confirmation to the effect will now be forthcoming. A Mombasa Mosque Imam has decided to release documents of birth that will indicate Barack Obama was born in Mombasa, given his middle name on the day he was born and blessed by the Imam of the day.”

All other documents pertaining to his registration of birth in Kenya have been sealed and categorised confidential.

Gotta hand it to Mr. Korir, I love a good story-teller, and in my humble opinion, he’s damned good.  Who needs truth when you’ve got a fertile imagination?

Hillary’s Bigger Than Obama’s

In an AP News story about the “partisan shift” in Tuesday’s election is this nugget of wisdom, truth and beauty every PUMA  has always known to be true in his or her heart; had Hillary Clinton been the Democratic nominee, she would have won by larger margins than Obama:

What if it had been Hillary?

There’s no way to be sure, but she might have won by even more than Obama did.

Voters in the Obama-McCain race said they would have preferred Hillary Rodham Clinton over McCain by 51 percent to 41 percent, a larger margin than Obama’s 53-46 win.

Among the differences: Women say they would have backed Clinton over McCain by 18 percentage points, bigger than Obama’s 12-point advantage with them. Whites favored McCain over Obama by 12 points but leaned toward the Republican by a narrower 5 points against Clinton. Eighty-six percent of blacks would have backed Clinton — solid, but shy of the 95 percent who supported Obama. Clinton almost matched the two-thirds of people under age 30 who voted for Obama, but nearly one in 10 of them said they wouldn’t have bothered voting at all.

And that’s without Hillary being given a chance to show her stuff and make her own case, instead of delivering almost, but not PUMA quite, all of her 18 million votes for Obama.

Damn shame.

And You Thought American Journalists Were Bad

Oh, baby.  Take a look at (ex) journalist from the Birmingham Mail, Steve Zacharanda, aka Adam Smith, who says he “jumped on a plane to volunteer for the Barack Obama campaign,” got drunk, and ended up in a Dutch video admitting to cutting and pasting his Mail report from the BBC.  So goes the story from Times Online:

Sometimes, you wake up following a drunken night out and realise you have sent an inappropriate text to an ex-girlfriend or your boss.

And sometimes you realise you have drunkenly admitted to plagiarism to camera, and spectacularly resigned from your job, shouting “F**k you’ to your boss.

This is what happened to Birmingham Mail reporter Adam Smith on Wednesday morning, as footage appeared on YouTube of him writing a report on the US election, slumped on a Miami pavement, and barely able to speak.

Mr Smith, who also calls himself Steve Zacharanda in the hit video which was viewed almost 20,000 times in 48 hours, had taken a week’s holiday to go to Miami to volunteer for the Barack Obama election campaign.

A MySpace page for Steve Zacharanda, journalist, can be found here.  He’s also on Facebook.

Of Mutts and Muttonheads

Barack Obama called himself a “mutt” and received kudos from at least one “journalist” for his racial ease and awareness.  WTF?  Isn’t a “mutt” by definition, a “son of a bitch?”  Or maybe I’m too sensitive.  Maybe expecting people who are obviously uncomfortably clueless about the realities of ethnicity to provide objective analysis of stupid statements from black people is too much to ask, even of people whose job it is to do just that.  Otherwise, how could you excuse Alan Fram’s AP article entitled, “‘Mutt like me’-Obama shows ease discussing race”?

It popped out casually, a throwaway line as he talked to reporters about finding the right puppy for his young daughters.

But with just three offhanded words in his first news conference as president-elect, Barack Obama reminded everyone how thoroughly different his administration — and inevitably, this country — will be.

“Mutts like me.”

This is not satire; this Fram guy is dead serious:

If he thought nothing of such a remark in his first news conference, doesn’t that signal that over the next four years, the country is likely to hear more about race from the White House — and from the perspective of a black man — than it ever has before?

So, does Fram think all black people are “mutts?”  Or does he think that’s what Obama thinks?  Or, is Fram unaware that everything Obama says is likely to be from the perspective of a black man, since Obama is a black man, albeit one who thinks of himself as a “mutt?”  Also, nothing Obama says will ever be representative of all black people, since he is only ever going to be one black person.  Does Fram know this?  Is this as stupid as I think it is?  The article is full of such nonsense.   Fram ends it (mercifully, eventually) with a quote from Silvio Berlusconi:

Ironically, Obama’s remarks came just a day after Italy’s Premier Silvio Berlusconi, in an apparent joke, described Obama as “young, handsome and even tanned.” Critics called the comment racist, while Berlusconi defended it as a compliment.

Just like John Kerry’s comment that Obama’s blackness is a foreign policy asset, and Jo(k)e Biden’s “clean, articulate black man” characterization, Fram’s article is an example of America’s discomfort with the reality of the “historic nature” of the bullspit they’ve bought into in electing this man.  Calling himself a “mutt” can be classified as an insult to his mother, no matter what color she was.  It’s dumb and unnecessary.  By Obama’s definition, aren’t his daughters “mutts,” too?  Is it a big deal?  No.  Is it a signal of the refreshing change in the hearts and minds of men and women suddenly able to embrace a new racial dynamic, blah, blah, blah?  Please.  To elevate such drivel to racial progress is a startling revelation of the utter cluelessness driving this phenomenon that is Obama.  The only thing it shows is that given the level of racial discomfort existent in this country, Barack Obama can get away with just about anything.

*Note:  From freedictionary.com:

Word History: Clipping not of sheep but of a word having to do with sheep has given us our term mutt for a mongrel dog. Clipping or abbreviating words, a standard process of word formation, sheared mutt from muttonhead, a pejorative term meaning “a stupid person” based on the notion that sheep are stupid. Mutt in its first recorded use in 1901 is used in the same senses as muttonhead, but it is soon recorded (1904) as a term of contempt for a horse and then (1906) for a dog. We can be reasonably certain that the New Yorker critic writing in 1970 that “The cast includes a Sheepdog, . . . a Mutt Bitch,” had no awareness that a sheepdog would make the ideal mutt.