Just Because This Is Really Funny

Okay, the world is spinning backwards and only people who can wiggle their ears and belly dance are going to be able to stay on.  Well, maybe that’s not true, but given the amped up craziness factor in this election cycle, it could be.  As has been reported everywhere imaginable, Colin Powell might be endorsing Barack Obama for president soon, primarily because they’re both black.  Or half-black.  Or married to black women.  Or have used black ink.  Or wear black pants a lot.  I’m not sure, but then, I’m wiggling my ears and belly dancing as I type this and try to keep from falling off the planet.

Then, there’s Fox News.  They think Powell will endorse Obama because there are African Americans in London.  And Colin P busted a move wit’ ‘em.

Colin Powell has his dancing shoes on, fueling speculation that he’s gearing up to do the Obama Two-Step.

The normally staid former U.S. secretary of state and chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff performed an impromptu hip-hop dance alongside well-known rap stars Tuesday following a speech at a festival in London celebrating African-American music and fashion.

Powell, who had obviously been drinking heavily, then went on to say, for no apparent reason:

“I stand before you as an African-American. Many people have said to me you became secretary of state of the USA, is it still necessary to say that you are an African American or that you are black? And I say yes, so that we can remind our children.”

“It took a lot of people struggling to bring me to this point in history,” Powell told the audience. “I didn’t just drop out of the sky. People came from my continent in chains.”

This guy was Secretary of State and he thinks dancing with a group of Nigerian rappers at a hip-hop concert for Africa in London, for an audience who is obviously blind, is an appropriate setting for a “legacy of American slavery” history lesson?  Because his children don’t know he’s black?  Are they blind, too?  Or do they think black people came from outer space?  And, Obama wants his endorsement…why?  Oh, yeah, I’m spinnin’.

Anyway, for some reason, Fox thought it would be nice of them to share the following video of Karl Rove rapping in honor of…a…white Republican looking silly, too?  Separate, but equal time?   At any rate, I thought, just to keep things balanced, I’d provide the video of Donna Brazile and Roland Martin gettin’ d-double-dog-down at the Democratic National Convention, celebrating Donna’s contributions in stealing the nomination.  And hey, since she and Karl are such tight homies, it’s all just most perfectly righteous, boo.

Hang on!

Once Again, Colin Powell MAY Endorse…Somebody

Politico reports just what the headline to this post says, under their headline, “Colin Powell May Endorse Obama.”

Retired Gen. Colin Powell, once considered a potential running mate for Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), now may endorse his opponent, Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.), according to Republican sources. But an air of mystery surrounds Powell’s planned live appearance Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” and no one is sure what he will say.

Which “Republican sources?”  Doesn’t matter, they don’t know anything, anyway:

The general’s camp is being coy about what he might or might not say on Sunday. But some McCain advisers suspect, without being sure, that Powell will endorse Obama.

Gosh, I’m glad I can read.  Where’d Politico get the story?  Coulda gotten it anywhere since a gazillion outlets are reporting it under the exact same headline; the only difference being some say “Powell May…” while others say, “Colin Powell May…”  Everybody, including Politico, claims the first they heard of it was from Andrea Mitchell:

NBC’s ‘Andrea Mitchell broke the news of Powell’s surprise “Meet the Press” appearance on the “Today” show Friday.

“In what promises to be a dramatic moment Sunday, Colin Powell — a lion of the Republican establishment, whom McCain and Obama both have courted for months — will finally speak out on a variety of issues, appearing exclusively on ‘Meet the Press,’” Mitchell said. “Of course, years ago, he was talked about as the possible first … African-American nominee of a major party.”

Robert Novak, in a Washington Post column about “Obamacons Who Worry McCain,” wrote this paragraph, which was interpreted to mean a Powell/Obama endorsement was forthcoming, and was picked up by everybody, including HuffPo, in late June:

Neither Powell, first-term secretary of state for George W. Bush, nor Hagel, retiring after two terms as a U.S. senator from Nebraska, has endorsed Obama. Hagel probably never will. Powell probably will enter Obama’s camp at a time of his own choosing. The best bet is that neither of the two, both of whom supported President Bush in 2000 and 2004, will back John McCain in 2008.

In July, after hitting a pedestrian, Novak announced he had a tumor.

BTW, is Colin Powell the same “lion of the Republican party” Bush fired?  Wasn’t there a little sumpin’ sumpin’ about overstating the Iraq threat, or something like that?

Dumb war.

Camp Obama’s Media Enhanced Inevitability Myth

Just like they did in the primaries against Hillary Clinton, the OBoyz are sending out the “Barack’s got it locked so you might as well stay home election day” vibe.  Talk about voter suppression.  Barack and the DeaNC conspired against HRC to try to get people not to vote for her, claiming, “it’s the math,” holding victory rallies before the polls closed, blasting the blogosphere with venomous “she can’t win” post after post, saturating the airwaves with tsk-tsking, head shaking “impartial” or ‘undeclared” “strategists,” all totally bewildered as to why this madwoman insisted on prolonging the nation’s agony as well as her own.  What on earth could be wrong with the poor dear witch?  Can’t she see she’s wrong and how much it’s hurting Barack to let her continue to embarrass herself this way?

Oh, yeah, the psychological warfare waged against Hillary Clinton and those of us who supported her left it’s permanent scars.  Our memories make us hyper-sensitive to the plight of those who suffer a similar fate at the hands of our common abuser.  Thus, the unholy alliance between Republicans and PUMA.  We get it.  We feel your pain.

But make no mistake, this is not a love thing.  We just know what it’s like to be abused by a smug jerk and his bands of blogger boyz making sure they’re caught passing nasty “you know she puts out” notes to each other in class, so they can be read aloud to max effect.  Puffed up jocks roaming the campus, snickering and pointing, while they stage whisper about mythical conquests can have a lingering negative effect, especially if they’re successful.

So, buck up, Republicans.  The truth is, they’re really the AV guys and the debate team, only allowed to wear letter sweaters because they had the real jocks disqualified on a technicality.  Sooner or later, the grown-ups will intercede, or the cheerleaders will band with the home-ec class and the chess team and the discredited former athletes to take back the cafeteria.  Either way, the nerds and their friends on the school newspaper are going down.

Doors Should Be Lockin’ If Barack Comes A-Knockin’

If Barack Obama comes to your neighborhood, lock the doors, hide the children, and try to be as quiet as possible.  When he leaves, count to one hundred twice, then send the dog upstairs to make sure he’s left the vicinity.  Or send a dove and wait for it to come back.  Only when the emergency radio issues the all-clear should you even think about abandoning shelter.  Otherwise, you might be tempted to ask the Ill-Begotten One a question, and woe be unto he who tries that.

When Baracco went door-to-door in an Ohio neighborhood the other day, Joe Wurzelbacher decided to seize the moment and ask a typically smart-assed question of the Democratic presidential nominee.  I say typical because it’s the kind of thing you would expect a Republican average Joe to ask a Democratic presidential nominee who was invading his neighborhood for a photo-op.  On October 13, The LA Times reported that Joe, identified simply as “one man” at the time, opened his big mouth and said the wrong thing:

One man shouted to Obama: “Do you believe in the American dream?”

Well, as you might expect, all hell broke loose after that.  Believing he had found his real-life “Joe Six-pack,” the mythical “married to a Wal-Mart-shopping hockey mom” that Sarah Palin so recently made famous, John McCain used the story of the beleaguered middle-American to bolster his argument against Obama’s tax plan during their final debate.  What the hell did he go and do that for?

Wounded by the exchange, Camp Obama used the scent of their own blood in the water to go into attack mode.  Dispatching their blogosphere battle troops alongside their mainstream media corps to seek and destroy, the Obots soon made it their business to take Joe down.

Bloomberg News, AP News, The New York Times, even The Gaurdian UK, all ran stories ripping poor Joe for not having a license, owing back taxes and, horrors! being a Republican!  How dare he question Barack Steve Obama, son of Jor-El?  Jonathan Martin calls Joe “the new Palin” in a remarkable use of “pretzel logic,” DailyKos released his personal info, and the San Francisco Chronicle tells us that Joe has, wait for it, lived in Arizona…and Alaska!  I guess that’s how he knew he should take his kid and move to Ohio in time to be home so he could ask Obama a question about taxes when he came by.

Since nobody really heard Barack’s “spread the wealth around” statements at first, Obama, for his part, stayed mostly on the sidelines, letting others fight his battles, like always, probably hoping it would go away.  Kinda like that “we gotta have a Civilian Defense Force equal to the military” thing that he said, then didn’t say.  Ever.   Besides, he’s not really that concerned about Joe because plumbers don’t make $250,000 a year anyway.  From The Washington Independent:

“How many plumbers do you know making over a quarter of a million dollars?” he asked the crowd, arguing that average Joes would fare much better under Obama’s tax cut plan.

To hammer home how his middle-class tax cuts would help most Americans — in contrast to Sen. John McCain’s emphasis on corporate and capital-gains taxes — Obama also asked for a show of hands for who makes less than $250,000. Most of the hands in the crowd shot up.

See?  He toldja.  So, Joe, can it with the “slippery slope to socialism” stuff you talked to Dianne Sawyer about.  You’re just the embodiment of Sarah Palin’s delirious anti-Obama fantasies; you don’t really exist.  Sheesh!  ‘Cause if you did, you woulda taken your kid and a six-pack in the basement the other day and enjoyed some quality time blotting out your problems like the rest of us good Americans.