Oh, For The Love Of Mike, Joe, Evan…Whoever

Spit it out, man.  You’re getting the hell on everybody’s nerves.  C’mon, Barack, if you really know who you want your VP to be, and they agree to do it ( which, from what I understand, is no sure thing ) wouldja just tell somebody and get it over with?  Good golly, Miss Molly, you’re really starting to piss me off.

Now the fact that you’re working my nerves should come as no surprise.  I don’t like you.  But you’re starting to annoy people who would drink your bathwater as an aperitif.  Even your buddies in the MSM are getting antsy.  The Yahoo News/Politico schmoos think you’re dragging this out way too long.  And they used to love you.

Delay brings two potential risks for Obama.

As it now stands, his announcement will land on a weekend and bleed right into the nominating convention—a time when a nominee can already expect to be dominating national attention.

What’s more, by keeping expectations hanging for so long, Obama makes it harder to deliver on all the anticipation. A weeks-long strip tease, ending with a naked Joe Biden or Evan Bayh—or some other safe but unsexy choice—might prove deflating.

Might?  Prove deflating?  How can you de-flate a limp di candidacy further?

“The only explanation that makes sense is that he really does have a surprise pick or he’s trying to convince someone to join the ticket,” said a skeptical operative who has worked for Hillary Clinton, who believed that Obama has squandered a good opportunity to set the agenda in the week before the convention.

Now, I agree with S. O. ( Skeptical Operative ) that you’re having a hard time getting somebody to go down  on with you.  You’re blowing this thing so completely all by yourself you don’t need any help.  And make no mistake about it, you’re not picking a running mate, you’re picking an anchor.  Whoever you chose is going to sink you even faster.

Politico’s schmoos did try to find support for your interminable delay:

Tad Devine, John Kerry’s chief strategist in 2004, agreed that delay makes sense in the current environment. “When you have an announcement it’s immediately positive, typically,” Devine said. “Things move so quickly that the inevitable negative front would have come in 48 hours. [In this case] the convention occurring within 48 hours will cut off the inevitable scrutiny of the vice presidential pick.”

That guy did work for Kerry, though, so I wouldn’t put much stock in his opinion.  Though, Lord knows, cutting the scrutiny time down is always a good thing for you.  But Bob Shrum seems downright pissy about the whole thing:

“If it’s Biden,” said veteran Democratic strategist Bob Shrum, “it’s sort of like a long movie about the Civil War. We know who won. If they did it Friday evening at 5:30 they would dominate the evening news, Olympics or no Olympics. If they do it tomorrow, it will dominate tomorrow and Sunday and we’ll move on as we go into the convention….But it doesn’t matter a whit to the outcome of the election. I think we are consumed by this. Here we are sitting here talking about it.”

I agree with Bob, Barry.  I’m sick of people talking about it, too.  And talking about it, and talking about it, and so on, and so on, and so on, and…oh, say something, willya, so they can shut the hell up!  That’s what it means to be HSIC ( Head Schmoo In Charge ).  Sooner or later, you gotta uh…umm…ya know…uhhh… spit it the hell out, man!

PUMA

Just Say No Deal

Latest Attack of the Killer Schmoos

First of all, a reasonable ( or, unreasonable ) person might well ask, “What the hell is a “schmoo?”  The short answer is, that it’s my made-up name for Obamabots.  But that doesn’t tell the whole story.  When I was a kid, long, long ago, in a land far, far away ( Chicago ) I remember seeing ads for a Milton-Bradley board game called “Schmo.”  Though I never played, nor owned, the game, I loved the ad’s tagline, “Don’t be a schmo.”  This game did not last long, in fact I could not find a single reference to it online.  But, I know it was real, dammit!  Wasn’t it?

Anyway, I later learned that “schmo” is a Yiddish word.  According to the Free Online Dictionary:

schmo or schmoe also shmo (shm)

n. pl. schmoes also shmoes Slang

A stupid or obnoxious person.

---

[From Yiddish shmok, penis, fool; see schmuck.]

So, a “schmo” is a “schmuck.”  The thesaurus on Answers.com defines “schmuck” this way:

One deficient in judgment and good sense: ass, fool, idiot, imbecile, jackass, mooncalf, moron, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, simple, simpleton, softhead, tomfool. Informaldope, gander, goose. Slangcretin, ding-dong, dip, goof, jerk, nerd, schmo, turkey. Seeability/inability.

Now, having met many people as an adult who shared with me parts of their wonderful cultures, I learned these words, as well as others, like “schmeggey,”

(Yiddish)  /shmeggy/  also shmegegge
1) a contemptible person; an idiot  2) baloney; hot air; nonsense

and incorporated them, and various others, into my own, personal, Ebonic-infused lexicon.  In other words, a “schmo” = “schmuck” = “schmeggey” = “Obot” ( only moreso, thus the additional “o” ) = “schmoo.”

Politico has always epitomized “schmoo-ness,” and puts it on full display in their “story”(?) “Hillary Gets Stiffed.”  Whatever images that title brings to your mind, Politico explains HRC’s “stiffing” like this:

Obama has often said, most recently on NBC’s “Meet the Press” on July 27, that Clinton “would be on anybody’s short list.”

But apparently not his.

“She was never vetted,” a Democratic official reported. “She was not asked for a single piece of paper. She and Senator Obama have never had a single conversation about it. How would he know if she’d take it?”

She was “never vetted“?  Whaddaya mean, she was “never vetted“? If Hillary Rodham Clinton has never been vetted, the word has no meaning.

Politico’s writer, Mike Allen, and contributor, Alexander Burns, do seem to walk it back a bit:

An Obama aide said “absolutely exhaustive research was done on her over the course of the 16 month primary. She was researched more closely than any candidate in history.”

So, while the “unnamed aide” gets 1/2 a Florida/Michigan point for displaying some common sense, Politico still qualifies as full-fledged, rabid schmoos.  They reported it, didn’t they?

Clinton “not vetted.”  Honey, please.  Now, he might not pick her, but it won’t be because she ain’t “been vetted.”  It will be because God is merciful and real.  Who the hell wants to be his flipping VP, anyway?  If anybody worth their salt wanted the flipping job, he wouldn’t be doing this silly phone fake-out thing.  I wish y’all could see my neck twirling my head around, with my eyes closed, in my best inner-city home-girl tradition.  Hummph.

Buncha freakin’ schmoos.

PUMA

Just Say No Deal

*Footnote: While many in the PUMAsphere are outraged that the Obama camp never seriously considered Clinton, which seems to be the point of the referenced article, my point was that the excuse was so weak it qualifies as a further insult in itself.  Like the geeky dork who grew up next door to you, it wouldn’t bother you at all if he took somebody else to the prom.  Sure, it would have been nice to be asked, but it would be a slap in the face if he told you the reason he didn’t do so is because he didn’t know where you live. 

Cinie

What Else Do You Want The Woman To Do?

Hillary Clinton just can’t win with some people.  If she runs for president, she doesn’t run right.  If she stops running for president, she doesn’t do it soon enough.  Now, her endorsement of her “rival” ( I put it in quotes because I don’t want anyone to think they’re equals, ironically, he pales in comparison ) is “too tepid” for the New York Times:

Minutes after pushing through the rope line to thank Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton for “all that you do,” Robin Shaffer said she was worried. She feared that the senator she respected and admired for being tough and experienced had not done all that she could to unify Florida’s fractured Democratic Party while campaigning here on Thursday for her former opponent.

What more do you want, Ms. Shaffer, cartwheels?

Many who had supported Mrs. Clinton’s run for president shared Ms. Shaffer’s opinion. Democrats who said they had recently accepted that Mr. Obama, of Illinois, would be the Democratic presidential nominee greeted Mrs. Clinton’s 30-minute speech — her first rally in Florida on his behalf — with warmth but also demands for more.

Many?  How many?  Who?  Hello?  So what, exactly did Clinton do that could be judged as “lacking”?

In her speech, Mrs. Clinton, of New York, offered an unequivocal endorsement. She repeatedly linked her signature issues of health care, the economy and abortion to Mr. Obama. Emphasizing how a President Obama could further her agenda in the Senate, she said, “I need a president who will work with me, who will be there for the people I care about, that I get up and fight for every single day.”

Well, I guess she could have been more unequivocal.  I mean, there’s unequivocal, and then there’s unequivocal, know what I mean?

Guy Montes, 63, a retired shift manager for United Airlines and a Clinton supporter in the primary, said later that Mrs. Clinton’s heart did not seem to be in it.

“It was a platonic type of endorsement,” Mr. Montes said. “It wasn’t real love. She’s just doing what she’s supposed to be doing.”

Okay, I get it. She’s supposed to suck his…up to him.  With love.

Even Cecilia Payne, 52, an insurance agent in West Palm Beach originally from Barbados, who declared that “the Clintons are the best thing that ever happened to politics,” said Mrs. Clinton must work harder.

“She should have been a little more forceful and more convincing,” Ms. Payne said.

Forceful and convincing.  “Vote for Obama dammit!  Because I said so, ya frickin’ schmoo!”  That work for you, Ms. Payne?  Gee whiz, do they want her to beg?  Bribe?  Submit to a Frankensteinian personality exchange?

Many here said they feared that Mrs. Clinton did not fully appreciate the divide that remained among Democratic voters. Ms. Shaffer, a part-time medical technician, said many older voters she knew were still struggling with racial prejudice, an issue Mrs. Clinton did not substantially address.

Oh, now I get it.  It’s Clinton’s fault he’s black.  And, it’s her fault that some old people have a problem with that.  I guess it’s reasonable to expect her to wave her magic wand over the racially insensitive masses and relieve them from the burdens of their own prejudice.  And while she’s at it, she could point it at Barack and make him white!  That would solve everything!  At least in this alternate universe where “unequivocal” means “tepid,”  it would.

Sheesh.

Schmoos are everywhere.

Maybe this would make them happy.

PUMA

Just Say No Deal

It’s Official: Obama’s Not Funny

News flash?

Well, Real Clear Politics thinks it is.  In a story on their website, they refer to a study from the Center for Media and Public Affairs ( a joke in itself; the study, not the Center, but that’s debatable ) which finds that the “presumptuous nominee” of the DeaNC is not a barrel of laughs.  Who knew?  In a press release,  ( seriously ) the Center touts it’s findings:

Barack Obama still lags far behind Hillary Clinton and John McCain as the most joked-about presidential candidate in opening monologues by hosts on the late-night TV talk shows, according to a new study by the Center for Media and Public Affairs. However, the study finds that Obama attracted the most jokes on Comedy Central’s “fake news” shows. (The study period does not include recent revelations about Senator John Edwards’ sexual indiscretions.)

They didn’t do Edwards!?  What kind of quack study is this?  Who are these people, anyway?  Well, whoever they are, they broke down the number of jokes per comedy show, per candidate.  Don’t these people have real work to do?  They even list some of the “jokes” themselves ( I’m not kidding ) most of which are duds.  The funniest lines mentioned are Leno’s:

McCain:

The only way McCain could get less coverage is if he got a primetime show on NBC. – Leno

Obama:

Obama said he’ll visit Iraq and Afghanistan because he wants to see an area overrun by violent extremists. So it sounds like he already misses his old church. — Leno

Clinton:

Only in America could a woman who’s married to a man from Hope go to a town called Unity and fake something called Sincerity. – Leno

Those were the highlights, did you hear the rim shots?  I’ll give you a minute to collect yourselves before I continue…

…okay, ready?

Now, I beg to differ with these scholars of comedic intellectosity, but, Barry O is a hoot.  He does impressions:

He sings:

You did catch the smooth dance moves, di’ntcha?  He’s always been good for a laugh, I tell ya.

Those guys at that phony baloney Center need to buy a clue, huh?  I could go on, but…you get the idea.

PUMA

Just Say No Deal