I Love Ya Bill C., But Brother, Please

Okay, let me rephrase that; Bill Clinton, you’re alright with me.  Always have been.  I got a kick out of seeing you on MTV and playing sax on the Arsenio Hall Show back in the day, and even though it was predictable that your exploitation of the day’s popular culture would lead to the Teflon-coated American Idol wannabe campaign we have now, we can’t really blame you for that, can we?  At least it’s not So You Think You Can Dance, cuz Obama-Wan-Kenobe obviously doesn’t think you can.

“Now, I have to say that I would have to investigate more of Bill’s dancing abilities and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was, in fact, a brother,” Obama said with a grin.

So, hey, who cares if you’re not really the first black president, huh?  You don’t have to be black to be cool, sure it helps, but I’ll still give you cool points.  But why’d ya have to wimp out and jump on the Oblackguy bandwagon?  And if you were gonna do that, why’d ya have to hide behind your wife?

Now, I’m sure you love her ( alright everybody, just keep reading and let that go, okay? ) but I gotta tell ya, you’re not helping her with the “suck-up to the fairytale guy” e-mail you sent out.  That bites.

So I hope you’ll take Hillary up on her offer and contribute by midnight tonight for a chance to attend the Denver convention in person. You’ll get to see Hillary speak on Tuesday, and Barack Obama — the next president of the United States — on Thursday.

For the last time, I’m going to lay it out in black and white.  Cut it out with the Obama love, alright?  I thought I made it clear that nobody likes or appreciates it, and you’re just going to piss us off more if you keep it up.  What part of “stuff it” do you and your wife not understand?

I hope you take my words to heart, Bill C., cuz I’d really hate to lose you as a friend.  But make no mistake, I can get just as through with a white guy as I can with a black one, so don’t push it, okay?

PUMA

Just Say No Deal