I Love Ya Bill C., But Brother, Please

Okay, let me rephrase that; Bill Clinton, you’re alright with me.  Always have been.  I got a kick out of seeing you on MTV and playing sax on the Arsenio Hall Show back in the day, and even though it was predictable that your exploitation of the day’s popular culture would lead to the Teflon-coated American Idol wannabe campaign we have now, we can’t really blame you for that, can we?  At least it’s not So You Think You Can Dance, cuz Obama-Wan-Kenobe obviously doesn’t think you can.

“Now, I have to say that I would have to investigate more of Bill’s dancing abilities and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was, in fact, a brother,” Obama said with a grin.

So, hey, who cares if you’re not really the first black president, huh?  You don’t have to be black to be cool, sure it helps, but I’ll still give you cool points.  But why’d ya have to wimp out and jump on the Oblackguy bandwagon?  And if you were gonna do that, why’d ya have to hide behind your wife?

Now, I’m sure you love her ( alright everybody, just keep reading and let that go, okay? ) but I gotta tell ya, you’re not helping her with the “suck-up to the fairytale guy” e-mail you sent out.  That bites.

So I hope you’ll take Hillary up on her offer and contribute by midnight tonight for a chance to attend the Denver convention in person. You’ll get to see Hillary speak on Tuesday, and Barack Obama — the next president of the United States — on Thursday.

For the last time, I’m going to lay it out in black and white.  Cut it out with the Obama love, alright?  I thought I made it clear that nobody likes or appreciates it, and you’re just going to piss us off more if you keep it up.  What part of “stuff it” do you and your wife not understand?

I hope you take my words to heart, Bill C., cuz I’d really hate to lose you as a friend.  But make no mistake, I can get just as through with a white guy as I can with a black one, so don’t push it, okay?

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Okay, This Is Just Funny

I found this video on the website, The Real Barack Obama.  They claim to have gotten it from another site called The Nose On Your Face.  Then, I looked it up on You Tube.  It doesn’t matter where it came from, who made it or why, it’s just funny.

And this is just classic.

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The Britney Hilton Saddleback Connection

First of all, I did not watch the Saddleback conference for one simple reason.  I intensely dislike both presidential candidates, and evangelicals, too.  There are very few imaginable circumstances ( read: none ) under which I would willingly subject myself to the torture of any sort of experience involving one or two of those entities, much less all three.

In reading (reluctantly, but dutifully) a Politico summary of the debate? conversation? waste of time, money and effort? ( ding! ding! ding! ) I came across a relatively interesting quote from McCain in response to a question about the wisest people in his life:

McCAIN: First one, I think, would be Gen. David Petraeus, one of the great military leaders in American history, who took us from defeat to victory in Iraq, one of the great leaders … I think [civil rights leader and Democratic congressman from Georgia] John Lewis. John Lewis was at the Edmund Pettis Bridge [civil rights march in Selma], had his skull fractured, continued to serve, continues to have the most optimistic outlook about America. He can teach us all a lot about the meaning of courage and commitment to causes greater than our self- interest.

Score, McCain!  Now I don’t like McCain ( he’s a Republican ) but that was a greeeeeaaaaaat dig.  Smooth and slick, he called Obama a liar in the middle of a faith conference.  And seemingly, didn’t even break a sweat.  I mean, who can forget these immortal words from The Great Self-Important One?

This young man named Barack Obama got one of those tickets and came over to this country. He met this woman whose great great-great-great-grandfather had owned slaves; but she had a good idea there was some craziness going on because they looked at each other and they decided that we know that the world as it has been it might not be possible for us to get together and have a child. There was something stirring across the country because of what happened in Selma, Alabama, because some folks are willing to march across a bridge. So they got together and Barack Obama Jr. was born. So don’t tell me I don’t have a claim on Selma, Alabama. Don’t tell me I’m not coming home to Selma, Alabama.

Now, it doesn’t take Columbo to figure out that an event that happened in 1965 ( Selma march ) had nothing to do with an event that happened in 1961 ( the holy birth ).  However, in one smooth, seemingly unrelated statement, McCain, even with his lousy record on Civil rights, smacked Obuhbuhbuh upside the head with his own lie.  Slick.

The McCain camp has proven itself adept at exploiting Obie’s many weaknesses.  The ads they’ve created and run on You Tube are classic fun, especially because they’re so successful at getting under Obequiet’s skin.

The silliest response to the Britney Hilton ad came from shameless Obie suck-up, Bob Herbert.

Gee, I wonder why, if you have a black man running for high public office — say, Barack Obama or Harold Ford — the opposition feels compelled to run low-life political ads featuring tacky, sexually provocative white women who have no connection whatsoever to the black male candidates.

Sure you wanna go there, Bobby?  I mean, while you’re grousing ( unreasonably ) about McCain’s alleged attempt to unfairly connect nubile young white women to a black man, you’re conveniently forgetting that Obama himself is a living testament to the fact that a black man and nubile young white woman got him born.

And Selma had nothing to do with it.

Just ask John McCain.

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